Because of my former career at The Disinformation Company, Ltd., I am often asked—I was asked this yesterday, in fact—if I have ever investigated a conspiracy theory that I was skeptical of and then become a convert? Nope. Not once. And for the record, I am not a conspiracy theorist. I just played one on TV.

First of all, you have to parse the term. There are criminal conspiracies—events that can be proven in a court of law or that are a matter of historical record; and then there is the Montauk Project/David Icke side of things. Iran-Contra, the CIA shenanigans we’ve all heard about, Watergate, etc., these were real events. When you get into the territory of aliens, the 9-11 nonsense, and the “reptilian beings” like the Queen, the Royal Family and the Bushes, I just pretty much tune it out. Been there, done that. I went down that rabbit hole when I was a teenager and came back out again on the other side.

Conspiracy theorists tend to be people who have been a bit cut off, from, let’s just say, the power centers of the world. If you’ve never been to Washington, DC or Manhattan or been in a Beverly Hills country club, or know how the news gets produced, then the way the world runs must seem very mysterious. Like someone is in control. But that’s not true.

People who are in positions of power—industrial, political, financial, media power—went to high school like the rest of us did. The class president type who went on to become a congressman did so because he could. He got into that position of power because… people voted for him and not for the other guy. And don’t be surprised if rich guy A makes a deal with rich guy B because both of their kids are on the same soccer team. THAT is the way the world turns. There are lots of little conspiracy theories, sure, but there are probably more of them on a local level, than on a national level because on a national level criminal activity is too easily exposed. If a blowjob in the White House can’t be kept secret, do you really expect me to believe that 9-11 was an inside job? (For the record, I have no fixed opinion about the JFK assassination, but it was unlikely the job of Lee Harvey Oswald alone).

Once a conspiracy theory gets published in a book, it then gets quoted by other writers, discussed on George Noory’s show and these things just perpetuate themselves in that way. It’s an intellectual cluster fuck with diminishing returns.

And blah, blah, blah, this is a topic I could rant about for a long, long time. Forgive the rambling preamble, all I really wanted to say was, there is an interesting article in the Los Angeles Times Magazine this week about something that might seem to be in one category of conspiracy theory, i.e. the alien thing, but does, in fact, fall into the other camp of something which can be verified:

Area 51. It’s the most famous military institution in the world that doesn’t officially exist. If it did, it would be found about 100 miles outside Las Vegas in Nevada’s high desert, tucked between an Air Force base and an abandoned nuclear testing ground.

Then again, maybe not—the U.S. government refuses to say. You can’t drive anywhere close to it, and until recently, the airspace overhead was restricted—all the way to outer space. Any mention of Area 51 gets redacted from official documents, even those that have been declassified for decades.

It has become the holy grail for conspiracy theorists, with UFOlogists positing that the Pentagon reverse engineers flying saucers and keeps extraterrestrial beings stored in freezers. Urban legend has it that Area 51 is connected by underground tunnels and trains to other secret facilities around the country. In 2001, Katie Couric told Today Show audiences that 7 percent of Americans doubt the moon landing happened—that it was staged in the Nevada desert. Millions of X-Files fans believe the truth may be “out there,” but more likely it’s concealed inside Area 51’s Strangelove-esque hangars—buildings that, though confirmed by Google Earth, the government refuses to acknowledge.

The problem is the myths of Area 51 are hard to dispute if no one can speak on the record about what actually happened there. Well, now, for the first time, someone is ready to talk—in fact, five men are, and their stories rival the most outrageous of rumors. Colonel Hugh “Slip” Slater, 87, was commander of the Area 51 base in the 1960s. Edward Lovick, 90, featured in “What Plane?” in LA’s March issue, spent three decades radar testing some of the world’s most famous aircraft (including the U-2, the A-12 OXCART and the F-117). Kenneth Collins, 80, a CIA experimental test pilot, was given the silver star. Thornton “T.D.” Barnes, 72, was an Area 51 special-projects engineer. And Harry Martin, 77, was one of the men in charge of the base’s half-million-gallon monthly supply of spy-plane fuels. Here are a few of their best stories—for the record…

Read more: The Road to Area 51: After Decades of denying the facility’s existence, five former insiders speak out. (Los Angeles Times Magazine)

 
When I read about the vocal protesters at the University of Ottawa who effectively scuttled conservative pundit Ann Coulter’s speech there Tuesday night, my first thought was that Coulter would find a way to capitalize on it, a media feeding-frenzy would follow and it would turn into a win-win for Coulter, who presumably was still paid her speaker’s fee.

The protests followed another incident on Monday night at the University of Western Ontario, when Coulter told a Muslim student to “take a camel” instead of using airplanes. Fatima Al-Dhaher, the student, asked about Coulter’s statement that Muslims should not be allowed to fly on airplanes and should take “flying carpets” instead. Al-Dhaher told Coulter that—unlike most Muslims—she did not, in fact, own a flying carpet and asked how she should travel. “Take a camel” came the retort. Ooh, snap.

News travels fast these days, and predictably the protesters were out in force—over 2,000 of them—to “greet” the conservative author. Not one to give credit where credit is due, Coulter apparently saw a warning e-mail she was sent by University of Ottawa Vice President and Provost Francois Houle on Friday, gently and professionally telling her to not to step over the line as the real problem.

Houle’s e-mail was obtained by the National Post newspaper. Here is an excerpt:

“I would, however, like to inform you, or perhaps remind you, that our domestic laws, both provincial and federal, delineate freedom of expression (or “free speech”) in a manner that is somewhat different than the approach taken in the United States. I therefore encourage you to educate yourself, if need be, as to what is acceptable in Canada and to do so before your planned visit here.

You will realize that Canadian law puts reasonable limits on the freedom of expression. For example, promoting hatred against any identifiable group would not only be considered inappropriate, but could in fact lead to criminal charges. Outside of the criminal realm, Canadian defamation laws also limit freedom of expression and may differ somewhat from those to which you are accustomed. I therefore ask you, while you are a guest on our campus, to weigh your words with respect and civility in mind.”

Pretty hateful if you ask ... um ... Ann Coulter, I guess.

But it was the update to the matter Wednesday morning that was really head-twisting: The deliberately inflammatory right-wing pundit—yes, the same woman who told the Muslim student to “take a camel”—is actually planning to file a complaint with the Canadian Human Rights Commission alleging hate speech in connection with the e-mail!

Ann Coulter a victim of hate speech? Let that sink in for a minute. A woman who has no qualms whatsoever about publicly insulting Jews, homosexuals, Muslims, African Americans, Democrats—and now Canadians—a victim of hate speech?

It’s just like these right-wingers to blame Canada, isn’t it? Coulter later told a television interviewer that the “camel” comment was just a joke.

Cross posting this from Brand X

 
Excuse me while I totally geek out. Oh dear. It’s so tiny! I need five of them to start a tiny band with immediately. Only 85 clams. The same circuitry as the classic MS series !, External signal in !! Hackable !!! August come soon, Arrrgh!
 

 
Thx Dave Madden via Create Digital Music

Dangerous Minds pal Vinay Gupta just released a new video describing how to build and deploy Hexayurts—cheap, stable housing solutions for disaster or refugee situations—for Haiti. These cost less than $200 and can house a family of eight on a semi-permanant basis. This is a real, tangible solution for the aftermath of the Haitian earthquake—and Science for Humanity needs your help in collecting funding to test and deploy them.

The Hexayurt is a new kind of sheltering solution. To make the simplest hexayurt, make a wall by putting six sheets of plywood on their sides in a hexagon. Cut six more sheets in half diagonally, and screw them together into a shallow cone. Lift the roof on to the wall with a large group of people, then fasten it down with more screws. Seal and paint it for durability. Your basic hexayurt is complete. This shelter will last for years in most climates and costs less than $100. This basic design can be improved with proper windows, doors, room partitions, stove fittings and other architectural features. More durable materials could give it a very long life.

It may be ideal for a variety of disaster relief situations.

Watch the video below—and help test Hexayurts for Haiti here.

(Hexayurt Project)

 
Yeah, I know. Big news flash: George W. Bush is an asshole’s asshole. How on earth did this semi-functional man-child, oh nevermind….
thx Jeremy Goff !

 
Rumors have started that the U.S. version of the hit British sci-fi series, Torchwood, would “de-gay” pansexual hero, Captain Jack Harkness, for American viewers. Not if actor John Barrowman has anything to say about it.

”I hope wherever [the franchise] goes that the show stays the same,” says the openly gay Scottish thesp. “The last thing I would want would be for Jack to become this heterosexual, straight hero. He’s an omnisexual guy. He likes men, women, aliens, whatever. I think we should continue going down that route.”

Any effort to de-gay Capt. Jack would be followed by a “really big discussion,” Barrowman stresses, adding that it would ultimately be up to series creator Russell T. Davies and producing partner Julie Gardner to fight that battle.

Regarding the status of a U.S. version, Barrowman confesses that he has “no information” beyond what’s already been reported: That Fox has commissioned a script from Davies and that Barrowman would almost certainly slip back into his signature role. “Julie has said, as has Russell, that there will be no Torchwood without John Barrowman as Capt. Jack,” he says. “If I am asked to do Torchwood again, I will do it at the drop of a hat — whether it’s in America or back in Britain or if it’s for a film. I absolutely love Capt. Jack.”

Me, too! And I’m a happily married straight man. Viva Capt. Jack! Don’t change a thing!

Would U.S. Torchwood turn Capt. Jack straight? (Entertainment Weekly)

Rule #1: Do not wear your teabag hat out in the rain.
 
John Avlon, author of Wingnuts: How the Lunatic Fringe is Hijacking America, writes of a scary new Harris poll that says volumes about the level of political literacy in this country. If this is to be believed, it’s appalling stuff.

From The Daily Beast:

67 percent of Republicans (and 40 percent of Americans overall) believe that Obama is a socialist.
57 percent of Republicans (32 percent overall) believe that Obama is a Muslim
45 percent of Republicans (25 percent overall) agree with the Birthers in their belief that Obama was “not born in the United States and so is not eligible to be president”
38 percent of Republicans (20 percent overall) say that Obama is “doing many of the things that Hitler did”
Scariest of all, 24 percent of Republicans (14 percent overall) say that Obama “may be the Antichrist.”

 
Vulva Original is the perfume that smells like a vagina (With a name like that, it had better). Is this a good idea? I can’t tell. In theory it could be a good idea, but is it really a good idea? Please weigh in on the comments if you have an opinion about this. Not an opinion of vaginas in general please, but of this particular product.

DALLAS - A new scent claims to accurately capture the “the vaginal scent of a beautiful woman.”

Vulva Original bills itself not as a perfume, but an erotic feminine scent designed to offer pleasure and arousal by smelling it.

It is not clear what compromises the concoction but it is advertised as being a “slightly yellow, desirable substance” that contains “more organic content.”

Users are urged to apply it to certain areas of the body via a roll-on applicator.

The product, apparently available only online via its official Web site, sells for about $33.

The site is peppered with provocative photos and opens with a video depicting a woman working out on a stationary exercise bike.

 
What Do Gay Men Think Of “Vulva,” The Ladyparts Perfume? (Jezebel)

I went and bought that “Vulva” perfume (Basenotes)

Thank you Paul Gallagher!

Gina Welch is the author of In the In the Land of Believers: An Outsider’s Extraordinary Journey into the Heart of the Evangelical Church. Raised a secular Jew by a single mother in Berkeley, Gina spent two years “undercover” in Jerry Falwell’s Thomas Road Baptist Church in Lynchburg, VA trying to understand, for herself, Evangelical Christians. Her insights will surprise you.
 

(Via /x/)

Via Genesis Breyer P-Orridge, here’s a review of “YES NO” by Dadaist painter Francis Picabia:

Hanuman Books are sweet strawberries covered in the most delicious creamy chocolate in this feast of literature. I adore them. They are petite and firm, exotic and very, very sexy little items, guaranteed to add secret glamour and sophisticated depth to even the most shallow of pockets.

“YESNO”, by “dadaist” and painter Francis Picabia, is 47 discerning midget pages of evanescent aphorisms. Gems of cynicism, melancholy observation and caustic comment, worthy of any aspiring, or asp-like, queen’s tiara of wit. The brief messages, warnings and considerations are drawn from his journals and notebooks over the period 1939-1957.

“Beauty is relative to the amount of interest it arouses.” quoth she.

This is an anthology from the revered lineage that includes the dandyish sublimity of an Oscar Wild; the fastidious camp of a Quentin Crisp; or even the more obscure English Edwardians like James Bertram and F. Russell whose Victorian misogyny and skepticism were illustrated more exquisitely than the “corpse” itself by Austin Osman Spare in “The Starlit Mire”. Yes, aphorisms are a justly grand tradition of which one can only approve, given that one is a reasonable person.  And, in this age of advertising slogans and soundbites; bumper stickers, and designer corporate logos as street fashion, a reminder of the priceless art of word games. The contradiction, collision and collusion in fresh revelation that twisting and pummeling the material of words can supply, in order for us “to see what they really say” as Brion Gysin so prophetically indicated in his “cut-ups”.

(Genesis Breyer P-Orridge: YES NO)

Yes No (Hanuman Book No. 39)

(I Am a Beautiful Monster: Poetry, Prose, and Provocation)

Via Ectoplasmosis, behold this astounding glory: two belligerent 12-year-olds with more talent and charm than just about the entire music industry put together. This is like the anti-Final Placement, proving that age is no barrier to awesomeness.

(Ectomo: I’m Fat)

 
Peter Wyngarde was a wildly successful British actor who also happens to have made, at the height of his fame, the most unhinged and insane celebrity cash-in LP of all time. I’m sure Richard could more thoroughly elaborate on the man’s voluminous screen resume (The Avengers, The Saint, etc.), not to mention his childhood acquaintance with J.G.Ballard, but I’m here to say that the below uh, tune entitled “Rape” is spectacularly wrong and offensive on every level. Debauched libertine madness a go-go. Probably NSFW. I apologize in advance.
 

 
Special bonus : The opening sequence and a scene from his series “Jason King”

 
Fuckin’ a right it is. (Signing the HCR bill into law that is.)