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Disney tried to adapt Kevin Smith’s ‘Clerks’ into a PG sitcom (and it was soooooo bad)
09:54 am


Kevin Smith

Kevin Smith has caught a lot of hell for not “maturing” as an artist, but if you go back and watch Clerks, it’s pretty obvious that his strengths have always been juvenile humor with a shot of modern neurosis. And, while Clerks is certainly a product of its time, I maintain that it holds up as a really charming little film about youth, relationships and the absurdity of alienated wage labor under capitalism. Or maybe it’s just about snowballing (hey, six of one...). Highly sexualized semi-intellectual gross-out comedy is arguably the trademark of Smith’s indie opus, which is why it’s so weird that Disney tried to adapt the film for a PG audience. (Spoiler: it is bad.)

It makes sense that Disney would try to capitalize off Gen-X disaffection I suppose, but did they really think Clerks could stand the Mickey Mouse treatment? You’ll notice the 1995 pilot bears no resemblance whatsoever to its source material—Smith wasn’t even told about its development until the actors that played Dante and Randal auditioned for (and didn’t get) their original roles. Smith even tried to help the project by writing a script, but Disney ultimately went with… this. You’ll see no Jay or Silent Bob, just a cast of suspiciously good-looking members of the strip mall proletariat. (They even added a sexy girl who works at the tanning salon next door played by a pre-Felicity Keri Russell).

Needless to say, Smith was not pleased with the end result. Check it out below, if you dare.

Via A.V. Club

Posted by Amber Frost | Leave a comment
Bloody hell: Disney made an animated ‘period’ short about menstruation
08:57 pm



Walt Disney The Story of Menstruation
Beginning in 1946 and continuing into the 1960s, Disney gave young women the “talk” about their periods with an educational animated short titled The Story of Menstruation. The 10-minute stylized animation, produced by Walt Disney Productions, was backed by the company behind tampon brand Kotex (then it was the International Cello-Cotton Company, now it’s Kimberly-Clark). Kotex boasts that it taught 105 million girls, in health education classes across the United States, about puberty and good ol’ Aunt Flo.
Fallopian Tubes
All these millions of girls were also given Very Personally Yours, a propagandic booklet that expands on the film’s knowledge.
Bathing on your period
The female narrator explains that this booklet “explodes that old taboo against bathing during your period.”

Not only can you bathe, you should bathe. Because during menstruation, your perspiration glands are working overtime.

Suck it up
These young women were also given pointers on how to suck it up when they are feeling irritable:

Don’t let it get you down. After all, you have to live with people. You have to live with yourself too. And once you stop feeling sorry for yourself and take those days in your stride, you’ll find it’s easier to keep smiling and even tempered.

Bicycle riding on your period

And as for the old taboo against exercise, that’s nonsense. Exercise is good for you during menstruation. Just use common sense.


Watch it for yourself and see if you learn anything new about that time of the month.

via Mental Floss

Posted by Rusty Blazenhoff | Leave a comment
Disney World is your worst nightmare: Watch the amazing ‘Escape from Tomorrow’ trailer
09:36 pm


Escape from Tomorrow

Obviously this is not meant to be any sort of review—I just stumbled across this movie myself and I haven’t seen it—but after watching the trailer for Escape from Tomorrow, which comes out on Friday in theaters and on VOD, I cannot fucking wait to see this film.

But don’t take my word for it, here’s what some folks who have, you know, actually seen Escape from Tomorrow had to say:

“It is not possible that this film exists.”- Drew McWeeny, Hitfix

“Its cult status will remain immortal.”- Rob Nelson, Variety

“Intensely engaging. A daring attempt to literally assail Disney World from the inside out. Conveys a phantasmagorical nightmare on par with something Terry Gilliam might have dreamt up in his ‘Brazil’ days.”- Eric Kohn, Indiewire

“A mind melting vacation from hell. You’d hardly believe us if we tried to describe it.”- William Goss, The Playlist

“Just the fact that it exists at all is a miracle.”
- Chris Bumbray, JoBlo

“Easily the most jaw-dropping film I’ve ever seen at a film festival. The film is like a bad acid trip version of ‘National Lampoon’s Vacation’, but with Wally World substituted by the real thing.”- Scott Macaulay, Filmmaker Magazine

“A subversively satirical attack on the totalitarian nature of mass entertainment. Randy Moore’s film does deliver something new, being a bravura leap into the unknown and a testing piece of surrealism in its own right.”- Damon Wise, The Guardian

The plot involves a father who loses his job, but doesn’t want to tell his family while they’re at “the happiest place on Earth.” Apparently things go downhill from there…

Escape from Tomorrow was shot guerrilla-style, on the sly, at Disney World and elsewhere over a 45 day period. They returned to the amusement park several more times for pick-up shots.

At this moment I’m more excited about seeing Escape from Tomorrow than I was about seeing the final episode of Breaking Bad...


Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
‘Food Will Win the War’: Disney’s most surreal war propaganda cartoon, 1942
10:36 am


World War II

Food will win the war
Not just a potato twice the height of the Rock of Gibralter… a sexy potato twice the height of the Rock of Gibralter

You may be familiar with Disney’s most famous World War Two propaganda, Der Fuehrer’s Face, in which Donald Duck dreams of an alternate life under Nazi rule. It’s weird, but not nearly as weird as Food Will Win the War. During both World War One and Two, the slogan, “Food will win the war,” was bandied about to both discourage food waste and encourage an increase in agricultural yields; the idea was that the U.S. needed to remain war-ready with a food surplus. In the film, however, the slogan is invoked more as a morale booster, and the result is a confusing mish-mash of messaging.

Instead of telling farmers to produce more and families to waste less, the narrator emphasizes our current glut of food, which is really counterintuitive to a message of prudence and industriousness. It’s as if the writers got so carried away with nationalist boasting, that they forgot the actual purpose of the film. Even more strangely, they demonstrate our surfeit of food by means of very strange scale comparisons.

For instance, did you know that if we had made all our wheat from 1942 into flour, we could bury every German tank in it? And if we had made it into spaghetti, we could weave from it a fashionably nationalistic sweater-vest to clothe the entire Earth! Why would you aspire to do such a thing, you ask? Why would we knit a celestial spaghetti sweater?!? Who cares! We’re America, fuck yeah!

Posted by Amber Frost | Leave a comment
Donald Duck teaches men about birth control, 1968
04:36 pm


birth control

The Walt Disney Company sure made a lot of crazy-ass public service films. Everyone knows about anti-fascist Donald Duck (ironic, when you remember Uncle Walt’s purported Nazi sympathies and participation in anti-Semitic organizations). My personal favorite was the one on menstruation.

That is, until now!

This extremely vague cartoon on family planning deals with a far more controversial subject than der Führer or female puberty, and yet somehow skirts giving out any specific information. I guess whatever remnants of prudishness were left in 1968 still demanded you avoid explicit conversation about birth control, then euphemistically referred to as “family planning”:

Family planning means, that without affecting normal relations as man and wife, you can decide in advance the number of children you will have, and when you will have them.

Informative! The weird thing about this weird little piece of propaganda is that unlike the previous examples, it’s intended neither to boost national morale, nor to educate children—it’s literally Donald Duck telling grown-ass men to wear condoms or look into hormonal birth control. And you even have a doting, whispery little wife using her husband as a proxy to ask questions about her own health—it goes without saying that this is primarily aimed at men, and the film doesn’t have much insight into the economic incentives for having a lot of children if, for example, you operate entirely on a traditional agrarian economy.

Given Disney’s supposed Nazi sympathies, one has to wonder if the motivations behind the film are based in an authentic investment in public health education or the Malthusian racism that lead so many eugenicists to fear they would some day be “outnumbered” by other races and cultures.

And come on, if any Disney character is a racist, you know it’s gotta’ be Donald.

Posted by Amber Frost | Leave a comment
Disney’s depressing rejection letter to a woman, 1938
04:39 pm



Depressing to read this? Yes, but it was 1938 so what do you expect?

The good news is Disney hired a woman by the name of Retta Scott in 1942 who worked as one of the animators on Bambi. You go, Retta!

June 7, 1938

Miss Mary V. Ford

Dear Miss Ford,

Your letter of recent date has been received in the Inking and Painting Department for reply.

Women do not do any of the creative work in connection with preparing the cartoons for the screen, as that work is performed entirely by young men. For this reason girls are not considered for the training school.

The only work open to women consists of tracing the characters on clear celluloid sheets with Indian ink and filling in the tracings on the reverse side with paint according to directions.

In order to apply for a position as “Inker” or “Painter” it is necessary that one appear at the Studio, bringing samples of pen and ink and water color work. It would not be advisable to come to Hollywood with the above specifically in view, as there are really very few openings in comparison with the number of girls who apply.

Yours very truly,




Via Retronaut

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
The future of Star Wars:  Lucas vs. Disney mash-up
01:39 pm


Star Wars

French filmmaker Patrick Peris has mashed-up all six Stars movies plus new and old Disney films, including Marvel and Pixar, spanning 70 years. 

Posted by Marc Campbell | Leave a comment
Star Wars / Disney mashup image
10:53 am

Current Events

Star Wars
George Lucas

“A New Hope” by Paolo Rivera.

Via Superpunch

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Anarchy in the Magic Kingdom: Crass/Mickey Mouse tee-shirt hack!

It appears that someone is having a little fun with the whole “sacrilegious” Disney/Joy Divison tee-shirt controversy...

Some crafty anarcho-inspired culture hackers have made their own Crass/Mickey Mouse mash-up tees and discretely deposited them neatly folded in Disney boutiques. Unsuspecting shoppers will either be baffled or delighted by their DIY creation.

Me, I’m delighted! I need one of these! Now, I’ve got… Mickey envy.

Click here to see larger image.

Via Submitterator

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Disney legend Rolly Crump’s drugs, Beatnik & Commie posters, 1960

Rolland “Rolly” Crump is a Disney legend. Originally working as an assistant animator under Uncle Walt himself in the early 1950s, Crump performed “in betweener” work on Disney classics like Peter Pan, Lady and the Tramp, 101 Dalmations, and Sleeping Beauty.

In 1959 Crump joined Walt Disney Imagineering, becoming one of Walt Disney’s key designers for Disneyland. He worked on the Haunted Mansion, the Enchanted Tiki Room and the Adventureland Bazaar. Crump served as key designer on the Disney pavilions featured at the 1964-65 New York World’s Fair, including “It’s A Small World.” When that attraction was given a permanent home at Disneyland, Crump added the iconic puppet children clock at the entrance. He was also one of the lead designers on a Disneyland attraction that was shelved after Disney’s death, The Museum of The Weird.

During his long and illustrious career, Crump contributed to the designs for Walt Disney World, Busch Gardens and the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus World, before returning to Disney to project design “The Land” and “Wonders of Life” pavilions at EPCOT Center. Now in his 80s and still going strong, in 2004 Crump was given a Disney Legends Award.

But back in 1960, Rolly Crump made a series of whimsical and delightful posters depicting Beatniks and their predilection for drugs. Made for poster pioneer Howard Morseburg’s Esoteric Poster Company, Crump worked for Morseburg until 1964, also turning out posters satirizing Communism, Cuba and the Soviet Union. Some of these posters were discovered again and are for sale via Crump’s Zazzle store.




Thank you Taylor Jessen!

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
Disney’s Guide for Men on How to Get Girls
07:42 pm


Guide to Get Girls

So, this is where I went wrong. If only I’d paid more attention and not watched all that Hanna-Barbera instead.

See the full size pic here.
Via Reddit

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Leave a comment
‘There Will Be Blood’ and ‘Boogie Nights’ redubbed with Disney character voices


YouTuber dingdangler is back with the most violent scene from There Will Be Blood redubbed with Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck voices. This is damn hysterical, especially near the 1:07 mark. 

Bonus: Mark Wahlberg and John C. Reilly AKA “Dr. Steve Brule” rocking out in Disney Nights.


(via The High Definite)

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Nick Cave sings Disney

Hal Willner’s “Forest of No Return: Music from Vintage Disney Films” was performed live at London’s Royal Festival Hall in 2007. An impressive line-up of musicians, including Jarvis Cocker (who hosted the event), Shane MacGowan, Grace Jones, David Thomas and Beth Orton, covered tunes from the Disney songbook.

In the clip below, Nick Cave sounds like a drunken sailor on ¨Hi Diddle Dee Dee¨ from Pincocchio . Good fun.

In related news, a new filmed version of Pinocchio is being produced by Guillermo del Toro (Pan’s Labyrinth, Hellboy) and Nick Cave has been brought on board to compose an original score for the movie. This I gotta see.

Cave meets Disney:

Nick does KC and The Sunshine Band after the jump…

Posted by Marc Campbell | Leave a comment
How the U.S. Broke Haiti
04:52 pm

Current Events

American Imperialism


Here’s Bill Quigley on the history of American intervention in Haiti. One of the ugliest stories never told. (Note that Haiti has essentially become a plantation for Disney.)

Why does the US owe Haiti Billions? Colin Powell, former US Secretary of State, stated his foreign policy view as the “Pottery Barn rule.” That is - “if you break it, you own it.”

The US has worked to break Haiti for over 200 years. We owe Haiti. Not charity. We owe Haiti as a matter of justice. Reparations. And not the $100 million promised by President Obama either - that is Powerball money. The US owes Haiti Billions - with a big B.

The US has worked for centuries to break Haiti. The US has used Haiti like a plantation. The US helped bleed the country economically since it freed itself, repeatedly invaded the country militarily, supported dictators who abused the people, used the country as a dumping ground for our own economic advantage, ruined their roads and agriculture, and toppled popularly elected officials. The US has even used Haiti like the old plantation owner and slipped over there repeatedly for sexual recreation.

Here is the briefest history of some of the major US efforts to break Haiti.

Full story here.

Related links:

Ted Rall: Haitian Earthquake: Made in the USA

The Post: Haiti?

Donald Duck takes on Hitler to the tune of Der F?ɬ

Der Fuehrer’s Face is a 1943 propaganda cartoon from the Walt Disney Studios, starring Donald Duck. It was directed by Jack Kinney as an anti-Nazi piece for the American war effort. The song, of course, was later made famous by the great Spike Jones and his City Slickers. The short film won the 1943 Oscar for Best Animated Short Film (the sole Donald Duck short to do so) and in considered one of the 50 Greatest Cartoons of all time, as voted on by animators.

The German oom-pah band is comprised of Emperor Hirohito (Sh?֬

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
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