Imagine, if you can, a country starkly divided by wealth inequality, where a small number of rich people lead lives of extravagant luxury and everyone else fights over the crumbs.

Now imagine that the most vulgar of celebrities, having ascended to high office by appealing to racist and sexist tendencies in the electorate, has announced a plan to slash health care in order to build up the military. Far from bringing him down, sex scandals only make him appear more powerful and exciting to his base. And what, exactly, is the nature of his relationship with the Russians?
 

 
Of course, I could only be talking about Nosher Powell, the real-life English boxer and actor who portrays “Cockney fascist” Home Secretary Nosher Powell in the dystopian 1987 comedy Eat the Rich. The dialogue is as quotable as that of Tapeheads or Repo Man. Early on, a diner at the posh eatery Bastards addresses a label head played by Miles Copeland:

Look, Derek, forget funk rap. It’s dead. The kids are getting hooked on socialism.

“OK, we’ll sack the blacks and sign the reds,” Copeland replies. It’s a cruel, cynical, racist—did I mention racist?—society.
 

 
The great Lanah Pillay stars as Alex, a hero for our time. Alex becomes a revolutionary after she’s fired from her waitressing job at Bastards, where she served koala and panda meat to one too many horrible jerks. And joining Lanah and Nosher from the world of UK showbiz in this movie right here is everyone and her fucking uncle: Lemmy, Shane MacGowan, Jennifer Saunders and Dawn French, Hugh Cornwell of the Stranglers, Sandie Shaw, Beatle Paul, Bill Wyman of the Stones, Koo Stark, Angela Bowie, and The Young Ones’ Rik Mayall all make appearances. Most of the soundtrack (and the soundtrack album) is by Motörhead, and at one point in the movie, Lemmy climbs onstage to play “Dr. Rock.”

More after the jump…

 
If you want to combine the joys of booty-shaking blues-influenced rock and roll from England with the quixotic pastime of trying to find buried treasure on your local public beach, well, look no further! Because have we got the product for you: the Bill Wyman Signature Metal Detector. It runs for a mere £120 (about US$185). None of the enticing linked pages (“Detecting with Bill,” “About Metal Detecting,” etc.) seem to be active, but never fear, the order page is still up, and really, that’s the only thing that matters, innit?

In Goldmine magazine, the legendary bass player had this to say on the subject:

“Metal-detecting is not just for anoraks or eccentrics; it’s probably the best and the most enjoyable way of learning about our history,” says Wyman. “On any garden, country field, footpath, woodlands, beach or moor land you can find a huge variety of historical objects, all easily located with this high quality metal detector.”

Previously on Dangerous Minds:
Waking Up To A New Decade With The Rolling Stones

In 1964 The Rolling Stones played at Kurhaus concert hall in the Netherlands and all hell broke loose. The concert lasted less than a half an hour as kids went nuts, throwing chairs, rushing the band, moshing in the pit and stage diving. The joint was wrecked. Keith Richards later said that girls underwear was hanging from the chandeliers. That’s what I call fucking punk rock!

In this amusing video, Bill Wyman watches the riot footage for the first since the day of the concert and comments on what it was like to be there.
 

 
After a couple of drug-bust-heavy years off the road, the Rolling Stones were at a few turning points as of July 5, 1969. Their back-to-basics Beggars Banquet album signaled the end of the rainbow dream of Their Satanic Majesties Request, and a return to a therapeutic blues mode that would last them long into the ‘70s. Most importantly, guitarist Mick Taylor of John Mayall’s Blues Breakers had replaced a drug-soaked Brian Jones, and Jones had been found drowned in the pool of his Sussex home two days before their previously booked free performance in Hyde Park. The Stones decide to go on with the show. As shown below, Britain’s leading independent Granada Television was there.

Granada put the biggest rock concert in England’s history to that point (250,000 people, with Woodstock planned for a month later) into context by chatting with the band, the fans and members of the amazingly efficient Kent chapter of the Hells Angels. Unfortunately, the Stones’ next huge concert would demonstrate that the Kent Angels neglected to exchange notes with their West Coast brothers about how to best secure a large crowd…
 
Please note: Live Video seemed to be the only free video site that’s hosting the full documentary. Unfortunately, the user experience after the jump is less than optimal—the video just starts and buffers a lot. It seems best to just pause the screen and let it load before playing. Please remember that it’s free, and that for best results you can buy the DVD by clicking the link below.
 
Get: The Stones in the Park [DVD]