OK, I know this will come off as a little harsh, heartless and probably as deeply lacking in compassion or empathy, but let me say that, first of all, someone needs to say it, and why not me? Although I’ve lived in New York City since I was 6 (well, with a few breaks here and there), I was actually born in Oklahoma City. And even though I do acknowledge that it’s distasteful to mention this “so soon,” it has to be said now, before the vote goes to Congress.

So here the fuck it is: NO EMERGENCY FUNDS FOR OKLAHOMA. There, I said it. Sorry, but fuck ‘em. Why do I say this? Is it simply because their scumbag senators (Tom Coburn and Jim Inhoffe) dragged their feet for MONTHS on voting for aid for New York and the Sandy-impacted areas here in the Northeast? Yeah, that’s part of it. A big part of it. Is it because both of them ultimately voted AGAINST Sandy-aid to this area? Yeah, that’s a big part of it, too. But it’s more than that. Much more, and soon you’ll see it too, so give me a minute to make my case…

The first thing that should be noted is that Oklahoma is one of the biggest, fattest, Federal-funds gobbling hobo states in the nation, receiving $1.36 in federal funds for every dollar in taxes it pays to the federal government (It’s also the 10th least unionized state with 5.5% union membership). Meanwhile, my state, New York, received just 79 cents back for each dollar that we paid, and we paid a helluva lot more in taxes than Oklahoma did. In other words, it’s fair to say that New York keeps Oklahoma afloat. We pay to keep Oklahomans employed and we pay to keep up their infrastructure via the federal funds Oklahoma vampirically sucks out of our state, to the detriment of our students and our fucking roads. And yet, Oklahoma senators were stupid enough to vote against Sandy aid? Huh? WTF? Please don’ hit me massah I’ll get back in de house!

At least a good pimp knows to sweet-talk his working girls when he needs to keep the cash flowing. But Senators Tom Coburn and Jim Inhoffe are incompetent boobs. Their reverse NIMBY shit is for the birds: What happens in their backyard isn’t as important as what happens in mine? Come on up to New York and say that to our faces (Peter King is a moron, but he’s right some of the time...).

Let me pause for a second and consider that not all of Oklahoma supports that incredibly hypocritical Repuglicant policy. There have to be some counties that recognized just how insane and self-defeating their bullshit policies are.Right? WRONG. Lookie here. Yep. All Oklahoma Counties voted for Romney. They were ALL “red” counties. (And both Senators, of course, are Repugs. I didn’t bother looking up if there were any Democratic Congresscritters, though I think there might be a couple.) Let’s also remember that Romney wanted to abolish FEMA. That’s right. Every Oklahoman county voted for the dumb scumbag that wanted to kill FEMA. So let’s give them what they wanted: NO FEMA FOR OKLAHOMA.

Now you’d think this is bad, almost a case to vote against aid to Oklahoma, but here’s the kicker. The real thing that makes me fuckin’ angry. Let me put it simply…

If I built a shack on, say, active train tracks and then, shortly thereafter, my shack was demolished when a freight train came through, how would you feel if I asked you for some money to rebuild my shack on those same goddamn train tracks? Without a doubt you’d say, “Fuck Off.” Well that’s what we have in Oklahoma City, and believe me I know: Oklahoma, Kansas, and the Texas Panhandle are all a part of “tornado alley” here in these United States. Remember The Wizard of Oz? That was Kansas, kids, right next door to Oklahoma. In other words, they get lots of tornadoes there every year and everybody knows it. It’s not a surprise, and maybe not (arguably) due to global warming or anything. And yet they’re playing Russian roulette again and again and again, very frequently losing. And they want us to bail them out? (Fun fact: Oklahoma building codes don’t require basements because it’d be more expensive.) New York, meanwhile, has NEVER been flooded before. New York flooding? NOW THAT’S A FRIGGIN’ DISASTER and yet, Oklahoma voted against aid to New York? And now they want US to bail THEM out… AGAIN?

Fuck that. No aid to Oklahoma for the tornadoes. Sorry, folks, you shot off a couple of rounds at your golden goose and now we’re gun-shy.

Scram.

Fuck off.

Go ask your pals in Kansas for the money.

How to help Oklahoma tornado victims

Truly the face of someone with absolutely nothing on her mind, isn’t it?

The President of the Central Mississippi Tea Party, a nincompoop named Janis Lane, believes that women are too “mean, hateful” and “diabolical” to be trusted with the vote, and probably shouldn’t have been given the right to vote in the first place.

In a conversation with two other members of the Tea party conducted by the Jackson Free Press, Lane put some pretty remarkable interjections into the conversation. The two other participants in the chat were Mark Mayfield, a real estate attorney and Kim Wade, who is a former Nation of Islam adherent and currently a conservative radio talk show host(!):

Sorry to shut the men out of the conversation, but I wanted to ask Janis about the role of women in conservative politics and reproductive rights.

Lane: I do not agree with the federal government supporting killing a preborn human. A child is a child from the moment of conception. The argument is: They’ve done it before, they’ll always do it. That’s probably true. My point is a nation should not support or condone the killing of anybody. Then you’ll come around with what about capital punishment. Well, you know what, if you’re on death row, you’re an adult and you made a choice to be there. An innocent child in the womb does not have a right to make a decision because they haven’t been born, yet. We’re taking that right away from that child.

But do you think there are too many male politicians telling women what to do with their bodies?

Wade: This is about right and wrong. How is it that they find a cell on Mars, then there’s evidence of life on Mars, but if there’s a cell in a womb, it’s not a baby? ... You don’t have the right to kill. If that was the case, then they had a right to kill us as blacks. If it’s just a matter of having enough votes in the Legislature to kill someone, then there’s nothing wrong with it.

Lane: I’m really going to set you back here. Probably the biggest turn we ever made was when the women got the right to vote.

What do you mean?

Lane: Our country might have been better off if it was still just men voting. There is nothing worse than a bunch of mean, hateful women. They are diabolical in how than can skewer a person. I do not see that in men. The whole time I worked, I’d much rather have a male boss than a female boss. Double-minded, you never can trust them. Because women have the right to vote, I am active, because I want to make sure there is some sanity for women in the political world. It is up to the Christian rednecks and patriots to stand up for our country. Everyone has the right to vote now that’s 18 or over (who is) a legal citizen, and every person that’s 18 and over and a legal citizen should be active in local politics so they can make a change locally, make a change on the state level and make a change in Washington, D.C.

God bless America.

More like God save America.

Hands up: Who thinks we need more fucking idiots involving themselves in conservative politics?

Me, I wholeheartedly support the likes of Janis and her busybody friends in the Central Mississippi Tea Party. They’re doin’ the Lord’s work, as far as I’m concerned, by putting such a grotesque and mentally incapacitated face on conservative “philosophy.”

Via Think Progress

 
If voters in his district are dumb enough to return Rep. Scott DesJarlais back to Washington this November, it might be time for Blue states to give some serious thought to secession.

But if they don’t, it will surely behoove DesJarlais, a physician before being elected to Congress as a Tea party-favored freshman in 2010, to consider what his next career move might be. The medical field might not be so welcoming, as DesJarlais will probably soon find out.

After Huffington Post exposed the publicly “anti-abortion” Republican congressman from Tennessee and his affair with a female patient last week—including an embarrassing transcript of a phone call from 2000 in which the “family-values” GOP rep pressured the woman to get an abortion—DesJarlais admitted to the affair (and that HE was the one who recorded the call!) but now claims that the woman wasn’t even pregnant, although the context of the conversation is that she was, in fact, four months pregnant…

Last Friday, DesJarlais sent an email to his supporters, admitting that yeah, he knows it looks pretty bad, but pleading for understanding and blaming his Democratic opponent and his vindictive ex-wife for his problems!

“You have probably seen the recent media coverage regarding details of my divorce from over a decade ago. I had genuinely hoped this election would be about my record in Congress -– not a 12 year old divorce.”

How the hell can this fool think that this kind of behavior and outrageous hypocrisy WOULDN’T reflect on his hypocritical anti-choice votes? Now DesJarlais—asked just last week by John Boehner to lead a pro forma session of Congress—has been hit with a very public ethics violations charge:

The complaint filed Monday by the group Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington argues that regardless of whether both parties wanted the relationship, it violates a state ethics law barring any sexual relations between doctors and patients. HuffPost noted the law in a story last week.

“Tennessee law is crystal clear: Doctors are prohibited from engaging in sexual relationships with patients,” said Melanie Sloan, the head of CREW. “The only question remaining is, now that Tennessee authorities are aware of Rep. DesJarlais’ blatantly unethical and scurrilous conduct, what are they going to do about it?”

In a letter to the Tennessee Board of Medical Examiners, Sloan argues that the case merits an immediate investigation and sanctions, solely based on what DesJarlais has admitted.

“It is hard to imagine behavior much more craven than a married doctor exploiting his position to conduct a sexual relationship with a patient,” Sloan said in a statement accompanying the press release about the complaint. “It is mind-boggling that when confronted with the patient/mistress’s possible pregnancy, this ardent pro-lifer urged her to have an abortion. How much hypocrisy can we stand? Where is Speaker John Boehner’s much-touted zero tolerance for unethical conduct now?”

The pro-life when it suits his purposes Tennessee congressman seems keen for his constituents to hear that the woman wasn’t actually pregnant when he insisted that she get an abortion:  “I don’t mind telling people that there was no pregnancy, and no abortion,” he said in a statement to WTN-FM radio host Ralph Bristol

New York’s Joe Coscarelli nailed it:

Never mind that insisting with such fervor and recording the call seem like desperate measures when you’re not even sure she’s pregnant, but the release of the conversation is “old news” anyway, according to his campaign. During DesJarlais’s ugly House race in 2010, allegations surfaced that he threatened his ex-wife with a gun and once held a firearm in his mouth for hours, but the almost-abortion stuff actually happens to be new.

The Memphis Commercial Appeal reports that DesJarlais blames the leak of the transcript on “a disgruntled, defeated ex-congressman, a vindictive ex-wife, and a desperate Democratic candidate.” But for screwing around with a patient and taping himself bullying her into an abortion she didn’t even need, we’ll give DesJarlais some credit here too.

It will probably come to no surprise to anyone, not even Scott DesJarlais himself, that there is a Scott DesJarlais Meme Generator.

 
Although best-selling author David Barton is held in high esteem by Republican pols like idiot queen Michele Bachmann (to whom he’s a “national treasure”) and Chick-fil-A booster Mike Huckabee (who calls him “the single best historian in America today”) as well as by conservative broadcaster Glenn Beck (who went even further out on a limb than Huckabee, calling Barton “the most important man in America”!) anyone with half a brain who has followed the career of David Barton knows that he is little more than a shameless rightwing Christian fabulist, making things up out of thin air and then claiming that they actually happened. Some people, who don’t know any better, i.e., his readers, actually believe him.

David Barton, you see, is the historian of the Tea party. There is practically nothing his audience of goofy ignoramuses won’t swallow hook line and sinker from him, even though it’s easily demonstrable bullshit. If you know your ass from your elbow, you would be highly suspicious that there was very little of scholarly value in Barton’s “research.” (Barton says of his critics: “I don’t know if it’s jealousy or liberalism.”)

Some of Barton’s greatest shits include claims that Jesus Christ would have been opposed to the minimum wage and socialized medicine, that the Constitution quotes the Bible “verbatim” and that Thomas Jefferson sent missionaries to convert the Indians to Christianity!

His biggest fib, of course, is that the Founding Fathers were all devout Christians and that America was founded on Christian principles to be a nation for Christians, and governed by Christians.

What percentage of Americans, do you think, would know the truth of the matter anyway? A depressing thought, of course, for most of us. For David Barton, however, these knuckleheads are his bread and butter!

Barton specializes in pulling “facts” out of his ass to bedazzle the folks who show up for his WallBuilders sermon/lectures around the country with amazing things they never knew about American history. Amazing things that never actually happened! But. again, what do they know? When David Barton is introduced to them as a best-selling author—and indeed he IS one—he would have certain presumed bona fides to an audience that is almost always comprised exclusively of white, evangelical Christians who vote Republican. Even when what Barton has to say is complete nonsense, his audience, taking their cues from the solemn heads nodding in agreement all around them, have no way of knowing that what he is telling them is bunk and so Barton’s “assertions” becomes history to them.

It’s pathetic. No wonder Glenn Beck holds Barton in such high regard. They’ve got similar shticks.

As with Beck, Barton’s entire career of telling historical lies, is predicated on the necessary ingredient of an audience of Billy-Bobs Bojangles who “don’t know much about history” (as in next to NOTHING) who just want to hear their “ideas” about stuff confirmed in a room full of people who look and think just like they do. Barton’s talent is telling an audience of not very bright people (I’m not being unkind here) who are predisposed to want to hear something that sounds like something they already believe (like the Founding Fathers were religious) so as to confirm that not only are God and Jesus on THEIR side, the Tea party, Christian team side, but George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin and John Adams as well.

The Jefferson Lies was recently voted the “Least Credible History Book in Print” by the readers of the History News Network. There’s no surprise why “fact improviser” Michele Bachmann likes it so much, is there? Sen. Marco Rubio and Newt Gingrich are also fans.

However, it’s been a very bad couple of days to be David Barton. First there was the hilariously brutal—yet strangely polite—takedown of Barton yesterday on NPR’s “All Things Considered” program.

Several Cincinnati-area African-American pastors announced that they were boycotting the Thomas Nelson company—the world’s largest Christian publisher—for publishing David Barton’s Jefferson book, claiming he “whitewashes” Jefferson, a well-known slave owner.

Then World, a Christian news website, ran an article sharply critical of Barton as well. From “The David Barton Controversy”:

Jay W. Richards, senior fellow at the Discovery Institute, and author with James Robison of Indivisible: Restoring Faith, Family, and Freedom Before It’s Too Late, spoke alongside Barton at Christian conferences as recently as last month. Richards says in recent months he has grown increasingly troubled about Barton’s writings, so he asked 10 conservative Christian professors to assess Barton’s work.

Their response was negative…

And then the unthinkable happened: Thomas Nelson dropped The Jefferson Lies, as World reported today in a follow-up:

The Thomas Nelson publishing company has decided to cease publication and distribution of David Barton’s controversial book, The Jefferson Lies: Exposing the Myths You’ve Always Believed about Thomas Jefferson, saying it has “lost confidence in the book’s details.” (See “The David Barton controversy,” Aug. 8.)

Casey Francis Harrell, Thomas Nelson’s director of corporate communications, told me the publishing house “was contacted by a number of people expressing concerns about [The Jefferson Lies].” The company began to evaluate the criticisms, Harrell said, and “in the course of our review learned that there were some historical details included in the book that were not adequately supported. Because of these deficiencies we decided that it was in the best interest of our readers to stop the publication and distribution.”

Ouch, ouch and double ouch.

David Barton will be a special delegate from Texas to the Republican National Convention. Of course!
 

 
Wowsers, I thought my next door neighbors were bad until I got a load of this guy.

The whole “I’m gonna fuck you in the ass, you faggot” line of reasoning is a little perplexing but it obviously makes perfect sense to the redneck neighbor from Hell.
 

 
Via reddit

 
The Texas Republican Party has published its 2012 platform online and scanning through it, it appears to be gleeful manifesto of pig ignorance and backwards, country bumpkin fear of progress in any form. Whatever it is, they’re agin it!

It contains the following sentence which is going to see them mocked mercilessly for the next week or so:

We oppose the teaching of Higher Order Thinking Skills (HOTS) (values clarification), critical thinking skills and similar programs that are simply a relabeling of Outcome-Based Education (OBE) (mastery learning) which focus on behavior modification and have the purpose of challenging the student’s fixed beliefs and undermining parental authority.

Well, they’ve finally come right out and said it. In plain English. They want the population to STAY STUPID. That way they don’t question things like why poor people don’t have health insurance, why billionaires need to pay less in taxes and the middle class pay more, how fracking might poison the water table and you know, shit like that.

Wonkette’s Doctor Zoom encountered a fifth-grade Language Arts lesson on “Fact and Opinion” while doing graduate studies in the mid-80s. Zoom recalls from memory how the lesson explained the critical thinking task:

A fact is an observable reality, something that can be quantified or measured, or God’s Inerrant Truth as revealed through the Bible.

Examples:

* The table is made of wood.
* Washington DC is the capital of the USA.
* Water freezes at 32 degrees F.
* Jesus died to take away all our sins.
* God created the world and all life in seven 24-hour days, less than 10 thousand years ago.

An opinion is a matter of taste, a view or judgement about which people might reasonably disagree, or a “scientific” claim that contradicts Biblical truth.

Examples:

* Blue is prettier than yellow.
* My mom bakes the best chocolate chip cookies in town.
* Mr. Jones is a better candidate for Mayor than Mr. Smith.
* The Universe is several billion years old.
* Humans evolved from apes.

Red state public schools are teaching an organized system of ignorance, nothing more, and nothing less. How much longer can the center of this country hold when folks who believe that the Loch Ness Monster disproves evolution hold sway over the education of so many of the nation’s children?

Doctor Zoom concludes by bringing up the very question that caused my wife to question what she was being taught in Sunday school as a young girl when she began to suspect that the whole Noah’s Ark thing was nothing more than mythological bullshit:

So, yes, think critically, kids, but don’t think so critically that you ask any inconvenient questions, like “wouldn’t two of every animal species on Earth produce so much shit that the Ark would be full to the top within a matter of days?” (Beyond the obvious Biblical nonsense, there’s also some empirical evidence that the particular methods in ACE’s curriculum leaves students less well prepared for college entrance exams than conventional high schools.)

Let us be clear about this: Texas is only against the wrong kind of critical thinking — the dirty librul kind, which isn’t even really thinking at all, but indoctrination, you see. As college-degree owner Rick Santorum knows, too much education will only turn you into a commie and an atheist. Texas Republicans promise they’ll nip that thinky-learny shit right in the bud.

Once those kids start pulling on the thread of KNOWLEDGE the whole sweater becomes unraveled. We can’t have this, can we?

And while we’re on the subject of Republicans being more, um, straightforward on things, did you catch the clip of this asshole from Pennsylvania stating the obvious about the state’s voter ID law?
 

 
Legal election fraud to prevent voter fraud. NICE WORK GOP!!

If you can’t get elected because of your ideas, it’s because your ideas SUCK.

 
Oh no you dit-ten…

Oh yes I did!
 

 
File under “Nauseating Shitheads” and “Insufferably Thick People”:

Have a look at gun-totin’, Bible-quotin’, homo-hatin’, and obviously over-compensating for sumpthin’ macho, macho man douchebag Doug Giles and his “kickass” Christian family’s low-brow version of Keeping Up With the Kardashians...

I’ll still take Sister Wives over this shite.

Here’s my family’s answer to the Jersey Shore and the Kardashian BS. “The Call of The Giles” shows families how to live a powerful and productive adventure laden life without whizzing on God and country.

TCOTG features Townhall.com columnist Doug Giles and his wife Mary Margaret, daughter Hannah Giles of the 2009 ACORN undercover sting videos and Regis Giles, NRA columnist and owner of GirlsJustWannaHaveGuns.com. Coming 2012 to a TV set near you. Hold on to your lug nuts. It’s time for an overhaul.

I mean, who would want to watch a reality TV show about completely vapid low IQ fuckwits, right?

This could be a world-wide megahit! How do I invest in this???
 

 
Via Christian Nightmares

 
Every picture tells a story, don’t it?

As seen in Wisconsin today. Photo by Daily Kos’s Jesse LaGreca.

 
Is the Tar Heel State getting jealous of Arizona’s reputation for bad craziness and low IQ buffoonery? WTF, North Carolina?

Scott Huler writes at Scientific American:

In a story first discussed by the NC Coastal Federation and given more play May 29 by the News & Observer of Raleigh and its sister paper the Charlotte Observer, a group of legislators from 20 coastal NC counties whose economies will be most affected by rising seas have legislated the words “Nuh-unh!” into the NC Constitution.

Okay, cheap shot alert. Actually all they did was say science is crazy. There is virtually universal agreement among scientists that the sea will probably rise a good meter or more before the end of the century, wreaking havoc in low-lying coastal counties. So the members of the developers’ lobbying group NC-20 say the sea will rise only 8 inches, because … because … well, SHUT UP, that’s because why.

That is, the meter or so of sea level rise predicted for the NC Coastal Resources Commission by a state-appointed board of scientists is extremely inconvenient for counties along the coast. So the NC-20 types have decided that we can escape sea level rise – in North Carolina, anyhow – by making it against the law. Or making MEASURING it against the law, anyhow.

Here’s a link to the circulated Replacement House Bill 819. The key language is in section 2, paragraph e, talking about rates of sea level rise: “These rates shall only be determined using historical data, and these data shall be limited to the time period following the year 1900. Rates of seas-level rise may be extrapolated linearly. …” It goes on, but there’s the core: North Carolina legislators have decided that the way to make exponential increases in sea level rise – caused by those inconvenient feedback loops we keep hearing about from scientists – go away is to make it against the law to extrapolate exponential; we can only extrapolate along a line predicted by previous sea level rises.

Which, yes, is exactly like saying, do not predict tomorrow’s weather based on radar images of a hurricane swirling offshore, moving west towards us with 60-mph winds and ten inches of rain. Predict the weather based on the last two weeks of fair weather with gentle breezes towards the east. Don’t use radar and barometers; use the Farmer’s Almanac and what grandpa remembers.

Willful ignorance will not be a valued survival skill for the species as time goes on…

 
Do you recall the sordid saga of Stefanie Woods, the sociopathic Paris Hilton doppelgänger of Palm Beach, FL who first came to the nation’s attention in 2008 for stealing money from a Girl Scout? Woods’ flagrant bad girl antics included stabbing her boyfriend, armed robbery and kidnapping  and brought her infamy and jail time (but sadly no reality TV show contract). Her nickname was the “Cookie Monster”? Remember her?

Some of the raw news footage from 2008 of Woods and her accomplice discussing how they stole $168 from the 9-year-old Girl Scout is rising to the top of the reddit hit parade today—Woods has been back in the news recently for probation violations—and it’s simply jawdropping.

THIS is social commentary!

Reporter: Why did you do it?

Woods: I mean, who doesn’t like money? I mean… I don’t know.

Reporter: But it’s a crime.

Woods: I know it’s a crime (laughs) but it was an easy crime!

This raw video manages to be both hilarious and deeply disturbing at once. When the reporter asks Woods (who was 18 at the time because they don’t pixelate her face, unlike the first girl who became known as “Carrot Top”) what lesson she learned, her answer is a classic for all the ages.

The same two girls were nabbed doing a “dine-n-dash” at a Denny’s restaurant just three weeks later and the aftermath of that stunt, included jail time/mandatory drug rehab for Woods. Apparently the juvenile “Carrot Top” got immunity for testifying against her partner in crime.
 

 
Via reddit

Click here for a video of this misguided doofus.
 
Approximately 2000 fine people showed up over the weekend to protest outside of the Providence Road Baptist Church, the North Carolina idiot sanctuary place of worship where Pastor Charles Worley told his flock that “queers and homosexuals” should be rounded up and put into a concentration camp until they “died off.”

Worley has defiantly refused to apologize for his statements despite the outrage from gay rights and anti-hate groups after his May 13 rant became a viral video sensation. He was given a standing ovation by his low IQ church members when he took to the pulpit on Sunday, the Hickory Record reports:

“I appreciate all the support,” Pastor Charles Worley told the 100 or so congregants at Providence Road Baptist Church in Maiden, N.C. on Sunday, according to the Record. Several members stood and spoke out; others threw up their hands in support of their pastor. “I’ve got a King James Bible,” Worley said, according to the Record. “I’ve been a preacher for 53 years. Do you think I’m going to bail out on this?”

Not a chance, this is the most attention this small-minded cretin has ever had! He’s in this FTW.

The protestors came out in force to bring a message of love and acceptance. Their signs bore bold statements like, “Jesus had 2 dads and he turned out just fine.” And “I am a gay, moral, conservative Christian.”

Sheriff’s deputies and Newton police officers kept the peace as the protestors stood by the side of the road and cheered every time a car drove past and honked in approval.

A vocal group of more than 50 counter-protestors were on hand to support Worley and his church. They too had signs with slogans like, “Sodomites are vile, unnatural and worthy of death. Romans 1:21-32.” And “Gay pride is why Sodom got fried.”

The protest’s organizer explained her goals for the event. “Hopefully our protest today will send a message that we, as a community, as a state and as a country, will not stand in the background in silent acceptance,” said Catawba Valley Citizens Against Hate member Laura Tipton. “This protest has grown beyond Pastor Worley. I hope his congregation sees that we are gathering in love. Their messages are wrong, and we will not accept them.”

Looks like North Carolina’s got itself a homegrown version of the Westboro Baptist Church just in time for the DNC convention this Summer. Not that this is anything to brag about, of course. However, with the WBC, there’s that whole inbred family brainwashing thang going on, too, not that that’s an excuse, rather it’s a factor that the folks in NC just don’t have in their favor, if you take my point!

Protesters played guitars and sang “Jesus Loves the Little Children” to drown out shitheads like Rev. Billy Ball, who had traveled from Primrose, GA to support Worley:

“We want to convince them that what God says is the truth. The preachers that hate these people are at home – we’re the ones that love them because we’re out here telling them the truth.”

Ya got that, gay America? They hate you in love.

Jeremiah Davidson of Atlanta came out to support Worley as well. His main goal was to address what he felt was an attempt to curtail Worley’s right to free speech.

“We’re trying to stand up against censorship and totalitarianism,” he said. “I’m here for free speech and the gospel of Christ – I’ll know I’ve been successful because I’ve done the will of God.”

*Points and laughs* Well fuck, what else can you do when confronted with a level of hysteria and ignorance not seen since the Salem witch-burnings? The fact that these people, Worley and his mouth-breathing congregation, can be counted on to VOTE in every election (and vote a straight Republican ticket, natch) is alarming, don’t you think? Just how big is the reliable reichwing voting bloc of complete fuckwits in America today, I wonder? I don’t want people like this to have ANY influence on my life, how about you? It’s truly frightening to contemplate human beings who are this fucking stupid.

We’re so close to living in Idiocracy now that it’s ceased to be funny to point that out…

Previously on Dangerous Minds:
Icon of Stupidity: Dumbest American (ever?) FOUND!
 

 
Via Joe.My.God.

 
Allen Quist is the crazypants political mentor to MN Congresswoman Michele Bachmann. The two teamed up as Minnesota state representatives in the late 1990s to fight the onslaught of the atheistic, permissive, Marxist totalitarianism society encroaching upon our “freedoms”—or something like that—and to successfully beat back a state school curriculum that would have taught some scientific ungodly stuff they didn’t like.

Now the 67-year-old Quist, an anti-gay crusader and soybean farmer who believes in dragons, that females are “genetically predisposed” to subservience to men and that humans and dinosaurs coexisted on Earth (possibly as late as the 11th century), is running for the US Congress to join his former partner in Washington, DC.

“Thanks” in large part to the, uh, zany supporters of Congressman Ron Paul, the Minnesota GOP’s nominating convention, held in April, ended in a stalemate after 14 hours and 23 ballots failed to select a clear winner in District One, meaning that the top two candidates (incredibly, one was Quist, which says a lot about whoever came in third!) will now have to face one another in front of voters in an August primary race. Mother Jones has the story:

As a Minnesota state representative in the 1980s, Quist staked out a position on his party’s far-right wing. At the time, the state’s GOP was undergoing a rightward shift from a party known for its mild-mannered moderates to one populated by family values firebrands. Quist was the tip of the spear.

During his time as a state representative, Quist slammed a gay counseling clinic at Mankato State University by comparing it to the Ku Klux Klan (both would be breeding grounds for evil—AIDS, in this case) and went undercover at an adult bookstore and a gay bathhouse in an effort to prove to a local newspaper reporter that they had become a “haven for anal intercourse.” (A decade later, Bachmann would bring groups of supporters onto the Capitol floor to pray over the desk of a gay colleague.)

Quist’s almost singular focus on sexuality didn’t go unnoticed. “At one point,” the St. Petersburg Times reported in 1994, “a Senate leader suggested he had an unhealthy preoccupation with sex, having devoted 30 hours to it in a single session.”

Quist was a staunch pro-lifer who once argued that abortion should be classified as a first-degree homicide. When his pregnant wife died in a car accident in 1986, Quist had the six-and-a-half-month-old fetus placed in his wife’s arms in an open casket at the funeral. A year later, he married Julie Morse, a former pro-choice feminist who had been reborn as a Republican activist. (Morse had cofounded Minneapolis’ first feminist bookstore, Amazon Books; originally based on the front porch of a women’s collective, it soon migrated to the city’s Lesbian Community Center.)

“When he ran, obviously we looked him up—a very bizarre record. I mean really bizarre,” says Minnesota’s former GOP Gov. Arne Carlson.

Ya think? In 1993 Quist challenged Governor Carlson in the GOP primary on a platform of mandatory AIDS tests for couples wishing to marry and against gay rights:

In one memorable interview, Quist told a Minnesota reporter he believed women were “genetically predisposed” to be subservient to men, pointing to, among other things, the behavior of wild animals.

Quist’s candidacy quickly became a national story—one that sent the state’s moderate party establishment scrambling to avert disaster. Mike Triggs, a former Carlson aide, told the Minneapolis Star-Tribune, “Mr. and Mrs. Gopher are going to think [the Quists] are damn weird.” He dismissed Quist supporters as “zombies.” The governor himself played up his opponent’s under-the-covers ops. “Instead of prowling through dirty bookstores, why didn’t he go out and change state spending policy?” the governor asked the Associated Press.

Carlson, who went on to beat Quist by 20 points, is still sore. “Wonderful, wonderful guy—one of the great intellectuals of the 21st century,” he deadpanned when asked about Quist recently. “He’ll do a lot to improve the IQ of Congress. If we can get a Bachmann-Quist team together, they could probably take over the world. Talk about a dynamic duo!”

When Quist and his wife founded the nonprofit Maple River Education Coalition (MREC), to push for the repeal of the Profile of Learning, a state plan to raise educational standards, they got Michele Bachmann to front the group.

With Quist providing much of the intellectual grist, the MREC argued that the Profile was a step toward a United Nations takeover of Minnesota. International Baccalaureate, the global Advanced Placement program, was brainwashing by another name. “Sustainability” was a euphemism for a future dystopia in which humans would be confined to public-transit-oriented urban cores. Schools would be breeding grounds for “homosexual indoctrination.” Even math was under assault by the forces of moral relativism.

In 2000, Bachmann won election to the state Senate with help from the MREC and the Quists. When Bachmann ascended to Congress six years later, Julie Quist joined her, serving as the congresswoman’s district director until 2011.

If Quist can best his opponent, Republican state Sen. Mike Parry—which is entirely possible, Quist has the edge in fundraising—he’ll square off against Democrat Rep. Tim Wirtz, who must be praying he’ll be running against this crazy motherfucker come November:

“Unfortunately,” [former Governor] Carlson added, “what was bizarre in the ‘90s is becoming the centerpiece of this new Republican party.”

Read the whole thing at Mother Jones.

 
Pastor Charles Worley is the dumbshit dipsy doodle-bug old Christian guy who called for “lesbians and queers”—millions and millions of them, apparently—to be penned up inside electric fences until they all die. A videotape of Worley’s words have become a viral sensation on YouTube, making the pastor a laughingstock the world over. Now some of the members of Worley’s Providence Road Baptist Church in North Carolina are speaking out in the old coot’s defense. Via Raw Story:

Geneva Sims told WCNC that she had been listening to Pastor Charles Worley’s sermon’s since the 1970s and agrees with the message.

“He had every right to say what he said about putting them in a pen and giving them food,” Sims explained. “The Bible says they are worthy of death. He is preaching God’s word.”

Church member Stacey Pritchard agreed that Worley was just speaking the truth.

“Sometimes you’ve got to be scared straight,” she said. “He is trying to save those people from Hell.”

So says a woman who listens to hate speech every Sunday and mistakes it for religion!

In a sense, though, as appalling and moronic and as totally idiotic as Worley and his minions are, they are, IN FACT, “doing the Lord’s work” as Faith in America Executive Director Brent Childers told WCNC:

“When [LGBT youth] see this type of rhetoric coming from a so-called Christian pastor, they aren’t going to want anything to do with the church—now or in the future. If you defend this pastor’s comments, you are mocking God’s love, God’s understanding and God’s knowledge.”

Whether they realize it or not—and clearly they are not bright enough to have noticed—these bigoted, buffoonish Christianist pukes, like the Westboro Baptist Church before them, are only furthering their enemies’ cause.

Here’s to stupid people! Viva l’Idiocracy!

Catawba Valley Citizens Against Hate have organized a protest at Worley’s Providence Road Baptist Church this coming Sunday at 10 am.
 

 
Yet another example of why no self-respecting young person with a lick of sense wants anything to do with American-style Christianity as North Carolina “Christian” minister Charles L. Worley, of the Providence Road Baptist Church provides the latest reason to flee the faith:

“I figured a way to get rid of all the lesbians and queers,” he says in his sermon, delivered on May 13. “Build a great, big, large fence — 150 or 100 mile long — put all the lesbians in there, [drop some food down] … Do the same thing for the queers and the homosexuals and have that fence electrified so they can’t get out… And you know what, in a few years, they’ll die out.”

Pastor Worley apparently isn’t bright enough to know where gay people come from, and yet this fucking fool seems to think his opinion is important enough to share with the rest of us…

There will be a peaceful protest against Worley’s hate-mongering by the Catawba Valley Citizens Against Hate on Sunday, May 27.

Regardless if you are gay or straight, Christian or not… this rhetoric is dangerous and harmful. Taking a peaceful stand for our right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness is paramount.

More details about the protest will be posted to this page soon. Please, only RSVP if you plan to come. If you are out of town, and support our cause but will not be coming to the event, please do not RSVP. In lieu of participating in this event, you can email Pastor Worley at pastor@prbcnc.com, to let him know what you think of his rhetoric. Remember, making threats against Pastor Worley will not help our cause and may result in criminal charges against you. Keep your message clean, clear and peaceful.

Here’s how crazy old fuck Worley responded to the new of the protest:

We offer NO apologies in believing the King James Version (KJV) of the Bible is the inerrant Word of God. If you live in this area or are ever passing through, I invite you to come visit with us at Providence Road Baptist Church.

Don’ ever change, Rev, you’re doing your cause so much more harm than good…

If you’d like to have a chat with Pastor Worley you can call him on 828-428-2518.
 

Via Towleroad