The Yes Men’s Andy Bichlbaum lays speculation to rest that Alessio Rastani was put up to his nihilistic remarks about the predation of Wall Street stock traders on BBC News on Monday by the Yes Men. In a statement made this morning on their Yes Lab website, Bichlbaum writes:

Rastani is not in Liberty Plaza

The Yes Men wish to commend Mr. “Alessio Rastani” for his masterful performance as “trader” on BBC World yesterday. Mr. Rastani’s real name is Granwyth Hulatberi; he once appeared on CNBC MarketWrap as a “representative” of the WTO. Well done, Granwyth! You’re getting better and better.

Just kidding. We’ve never heard of Rastani. Despite widespread speculation, he isn’t a Yes Man. He’s a real trader who is, for one reason or another, being more honest than usual. Who in big banking doesn’t bet against the interests of the poor and find themselves massively recompensed—if not by the market, then by humongous taxpayer bailouts? Rastani’s approach has been completely mainstream for several years now; we must thank him for putting a human face on it yesterday.

If you’d like to see the human face of the human perspective—the perspective of the 99% victimized by our demented and out-of-control financial system—come join the occupation of Wall Street. Michael Moore did so last night, and pointed out that in America, it’s just 400 people who own as much as most of the rest of us put together—and that when we decide we really want to change the rules of the game, those 400 people won’t be able to do squat about it.

So just as I thought, Rastani IS just a capitalist vulture feeding off the carrion that used to be the lives of the middle class!

 
Good lord, if this is true, it’s absolutely fucking hysterical, but I have my doubts: Reuters, CNBC, Forbes, the Washington Post and the Guardian have all reported inconclusive speculation in the last few hours that the “candid” (some might say “sociopath”) Wall Street trader, Alessio Rastani, who told BBC News:  “I dream of another recession,” might be member of the genius satirical activists, The Yes Men!

Rastani’s statement, “The governments don’t rule the world, Goldman Sachs rules the world,” has caused his shocking BBC News appearance to become a viral video sensation in the past 24 hours. An BBC internal investigation has concluded that Rastani is who he says he is, a real trader, but not everyone is buying it:

FORBES: Have you heard of the Yes Men?

AR: Heard of it before? Not quite sure why they’re calling me that. I have no idea where that came from.

FORBES: Because there’s a video of you posing as a Dow Chemical spokesman [She’s totally off-base here, obviously].

AR: What? A Dow Chemical spokesman? Have you seen this video? That can’t be right. I’ve never spoken to Dow Chemical before in my life. Maybe it’s a fake. Are you sure about this? Honestly, listen, I’ve no idea where that came from. That interview yesterday was one of the first ones I did live.

I don’t know why they think it’s a hoax. No, I am a trader absolutely. I have trader friends who could back that up. One of my mentors is a bestselling author and trader. Everyone knows me.

Here’s the problem: The speculation seems to be that Alessio Rastani is, in fact, the Yes Men’s Andy Bichlbaum. I know Andy personally—Disinformation published the Yes Men book—so unless Andy has had extensive plastic surgery or gotten into a time machine since I’ve last seen him, I can assure that he’s not Alessio Rastani. Rastani also has a blog, several YouTube videos about trading, he’s on Twitter and has been for two years, etc. IF this is a hoax, it’s either one concocted with a very, very long fuse, or else the Yes Men hired a real stock broker to say the same nihilistic, “fuck the little guy” things that brokers say amongst themselves all the time,

I’ll repeat that: I’m not saying that the Yes Men didn’t hire this guy to say what he said on BBC News—I have no knowledge of this—but the speculation that he’s Andy Bichlbaum is absolutely NOT true.

Still, the fact that this is being speculated about as a Yes Men media prank is simply delicious! I’m sure they’ll keep quiet about this as long as possible. Why not milk it, especially if it’s a freebie, you know? Not sure if I want it to be a hoax or not. Probably not, which means I’m rooting for Rastani to actually be the sociopathic stock broker he represented himself as on the BBC News channel…
 

 
Once again the heroically funny Yes Men (along with the anti-Tea party patriots of “US Uncut”) have punk’d the establishment. This time their victim was the Associated Press. From the press release:

USA Today, AP fall for US Uncut ploy; GE stock loses billions

Washington, DC - US Uncut, a burgeoning grassroots movement pressuring corporate tax cheats to pay their fair share, posted today a fake GE press release announcing that they would return their illegitimate (but legal) $3.2 billion tax refund, and that they would lobby to close the sort of corporate tax loopholes that had allowed them to skip taxes in the first place. Several major media outlets, including USA Today, ran the story as true. (Here is a link to the original USA Today story; here is the first article debunking the release.)

US Uncut quickly reacted with another release pretending to praise GE for this entirely unpredictable, unlikely, and in fact impossible act.

“At a time when working families are being asked to accept massive cuts nationwide, this action showed another way the world could work,” said US Uncut spokesperson Carl Gibson. “For a brief moment people believed that the biggest corporate tax dodger had a change of heart and actually did the right thing. But the only way anything like this is really going to happen is if we change the laws that allow corporate tax avoidance in the first place.”

In the period the hoax was believed, GE’s stock plunged by .6% (far more than the value of the supposed return), then quickly recovered as soon as it became apparent the press had been duped. “Obviously, GE can’t possibly be expected to do the right thing voluntarily; their stock would keep plunging,” noted Gibson. “That’s why we must change the law.”

“GE’s tax avoidance is unpatriotic, it’s undemocratic, it’s unfair,” said Andrew Boyd, a US Uncut spokesperson. “It might be legal, but that’s only because GE has used its money and lobbying influence to buy the loopholes they’re now taking advantage of.”

US Uncut developed the project with help from the Yes Lab.

US Uncut’s Andrew Boyd told MSNBC (partially owned by General Electric, of course): “It might be legal but it’s immoral.”

YES it is. The Yes Men guys are absolute geniuses. If you’re going to infiltrate capitalism, you have to do it all the way….

US Uncut have over 100 protests planned across America this weekend to demonstrate against corporate tax cheats. More information here.

Oddly, you can watch one of The Yes Men’s feature-length documentaries on another entity partially owned by GE, Hulu.com:
 

 
Corporate humiliators, The Yes Men, are launching a grassroots effort to help put the brakes on our run amuck military-industrial complex.  Because plotting the public shaming of the U.N., Canada, and the U.S. Chamber of Commerce sucks up so much time, they’re looking to recruit Yes-minded people to Fix The World with them.  Thus the newly announced Yes Lab For Creative Activism.  Here’s how it’s gonna work:

In a typical Yes Lab project, an activist organization will come to the Yes Lab with a target—e.g. Monsanto, or war profiteers, or one of those “too big to fail” banks, or greedy health insurance companies, or a bad government policy—as well as a goal: to affect public debate, push for legislation, embarrass an evildoer, etc.  Depending on ability, they will pay a fee to help the Yes Lab keep going.

We’ll work with the group to develop the smartest, most effective plan to accomplish it.  We’ll help assemble the team from within the group as well as our mailing list, we’ll train folks as necessary, and we’ll check in on the project until it’s successful.

Like most well-intentioned start-ups, the Yes Men are now looking for funding.  A target of $50,000 would ensure a 6-month period of, “disruptive, productive media events keeping the public reminded of what’s wrong, what could be right, and what’s in store if we don’t change our ways.”  To help launch the Yes Lab—and receive some interesting Yes Men goodies in return—click here.

 
All hail the return of The Yes Men!  Their new movie, The Yes Men Fix The World, starts screening this Friday in the UK, and premieres in the US this month on HBO.  If you’re new to the corporate-punking hijinks of Mike and Andy, here’s a bit of what they do:

They have an unusual hobby: posing as top executives of corporations they hate.  Armed with nothing but thrift-store suits, the Yes Men lie their way into business conferences and parody their corporate targets in ever more extreme ways—basically doing everything that they can to wake up their audiences to the danger of letting greed run our world.

 
The Yes Men In Reuters