This is hysterically funny. From the evil occult masters of Everything is Terrible.

 
Today, writing on Esquire’s Politics blog, Esquire’s executive editor Mark Warren posted this rather succinct piece about what GOP Rep. Joe Barton (TX)—a man who has received over $1.5 million in campaign donations from oil and gas interests—had to say about the BP oil spill catastrophe in his “apology” to BP and what it says—LOUDLY AND CLEARLY—about the Republican Party and whose side they are on. Hint: It’s not the people of the Gulf coast and it sure as hell ain’t mother nature’s side either. This is an ASTONISHING admission and something everyone in this country—even the Tea partiers—should read. The ones who can read, I mean…

Just when you thought nothing could improve upon the statement released yesterday evening by the Republican Study Committee’s chairman Tom Price of Georgia — which attacked the deal struck at the White House yesterday providing for the $20 billion escrow account to compensate the people of the Gulf Coast for damages as “Chicago-style shakedown politics” — came the unthinkable: This morning, Texas Republican Joe Barton apologized to Tony Hayward — twice — and said that he was ashamed that such a thing could occur in America.

He apologized.

Now, it was puzzling enough that the Republicans would think it wise to attack a deal that seeks to make American citizens whole from damages caused by a foreign corporation. But it is incomprehensible that even a lobby puppet such as Barton would place the Republican Party squarely on the side of the corporation and against the people of the Gulf Coast.

In so doing, in one five-minute opening statement in a hearing that otherwise seemed to be yielding nothing meaningful, Joe Barton may have changed the calculus of this fall’s elections.

His party will protest and say otherwise, but Barton has revealed something quite extreme and very ugly about what he and his colleagues truly believe.

—snip—

So today, in Washington D.C., Joe Barton has placed himself and his party so far outside the bounds of decency that he has even Tony Hayward shaking his head.

It is important to note that Joe Barton is not popularly regarded in his caucus as a whackjob. Rather, as the ranking Republican on Energy and Commerce, he is well-respected. He cannot be marginalized as an outlier. This moment cannot simply be allowed to pass. And its importance cannot be overstated.

George W. Bush once famously said: “You’re either with us or against us.”

Indeed.

 
THERE SHOULD BE A MOVE TO IMPEACH THIS SON OF A BITCH TOMORROW. WHAT ARE THE PEOPLE OF TEXAS WAITING FOR AFTER THIS?!?!?! NEED ANY MORE EVIDENCE THAT JOE BARTON IS A FUCK? I DON’T THINK SO!
 
The Joe Barton Apology Tour Is About to Bring Down the GOP (Esquire)
 
(Via Esquire’s newly minted News and Features editor at Esquire.com, Dangerous Minds pal Marty Beckerman! Congrats are in order for both Mr. Beckerman and for one of the most venerated magazines in American, Esquire, for making such an inspired hire as Marty. Salut!)

 
The following was posted on Wonkette and I am reposting it here in full because I don’t think they’d mind and I sure couldn’t say it any better. As an American I am horrified by this. Please post this story on your Facebook and Twitter and get it out there:

Hard to find even the Gallows Humor in this story, so maybe we won’t even try. Maybe it’s time to admit that large chunks of America are in the hands of unreconstructed racists and vulgar idiots, and that the popular election of a black man as president just might’ve pushed these furious, economically doomed old white people into a final rage that is going to end very, very badly. Ready? Here you go: An Arizona elementary school mural featuring the faces of kids who attend the school has been the subject of constant daytime drive-by racist screaming, from adults, as well as a radio talk-show campaign (by an actual city councilman, who has an AM talk-radio show) to remove the black student’s face from the mural, and now the school principal has ordered the faces of the Latino and Black students pictured on the school wall to be repainted as light-skinned children.

This is America, in 2010, and there’s a dozen more states and endless white-trash municipalities ready to Officially Adopt this same Official Racist Insanity.

From the Arizona Republic:

A group of artists has been asked to lighten the faces of children depicted in a giant public mural at a Prescott school. The project’s leader says he was ordered to lighten the skin tone after complaints about the children’s ethnicity….

R.E. Wall, director of Prescott’s Downtown Mural Project, said he and other artists were subjected to slurs from motorists as they worked on the painting at one of the town’s most prominent intersections.

“We consistently, for two months, had people shouting racial slander from their cars,” Wall said. “We had children painting with us, and here come these yells of (epithet for Blacks) and (epithet for Hispanics).”

The children depicted on the mural, as we mentioned before but feel compelled to repeat, are little kids who go to the school — “a K-5 school with 380 students and the highest ethnic mix of any school in Prescott. Wall said thousands of town residents volunteered or donated to the project.”

And these children, for the past several months as this happy mural encouraging “green transportation” was being painted by local artists, have been treated to the city of Prescott’s finest citizens driving by and yelling “Nigger” and “Spic” at this school wall painted with pictures of the children who attend the school. And this has been encouraged by a city councilman, Steve Blair, who uses his local radio talk show to rile up these people and demand the mural be destroyed.

And now the faces are being painted white, “because of the controversy.”

Remember where you were, when you could still laugh about teabaggers and racists and Arizonans, because funny time is almost over. If the unemployment keeps up — one in five adult white males has no job and will never have a job again — and people keep walking away from their stucco heaps they can’t afford and the states and cities and counties and towns keep passing their aggressive racist laws to rile up the trash even more, shit’s going to very soon become very bad, and whether it’s the National Guard having wars in the Sunbelt Exurbs against armies of crazy old white people who are finally using their hundreds of millions of guns, or whole Latino neighborhoods burned to the ground the way the Klan used to burn down black neighborhoods a century ago, we are in for a long dark night and no light-colored paint is going to fix that.

Postscript: So that asswipe Steve Blair got fired from the radio station. Blair emphasized in his statement that “I’m not a racist by any stretch of the imagination, but whenever people start talking about diversity, it’s a word I can’t stand.” What a fucking idiot.

 
No, this is not the aftermath of a Justin Bieber concert, these girls are giddy for Jesus. This YouTube clip of Pentecostal teenage girls seen “speaking in tongues” after a church service is a depressing thing to watch. These girls are the victims of peer pressure and slow, steady intellectual child abuse. Compare and contrast their brainwashed hysteria to that of the religious/sexual hysteria of the nuns in Ken Russell’s classic—but seldom seen—film, The Devils.
 

 
Via Christian Nightmares.

 
Dr. Jack Cassell, Orlando urologist and Republican crackpot, is the asshat who put up the sign in his practice reading: “If you voted for Obama…seek urologic care elsewhere. Changes to your healthcare begin right now, not in four years.”

Predictably the “liberal media” went nuts on this guy’s dumbass—he deserved it—and Cassell’s been seen making a fool of himself all over the media lately trying to stick up for himself and managing to damage his reputation even further. From The Washington Monthly:

But perhaps the most important coverage was an interview between Cassell and Alan Colmes on the radio Friday night. The host tried to get a better sense of why, exactly, Cassell hates the Affordable Care Act so much. The urologist specifically argued that officials, in light of the new law, are “cutting all supportive care, like nursing homes, ambulance services.”

Colmes: What do you mean they’re cutting nursing homes?

Cassell: They’re cutting nursing home reimbursements.

Colmes: Isn’t what they’re cutting under the Medicare plan what was really double dipping; they were getting credits and they were getting to deduct them at the same time.

Cassell: Well you know, I can’t tell you exactly what the deal is. [emphasis added]

Colmes: If you can’t tell us exactly what the deal is, why are you opposing it and fighting against it?

What a good question. Cassell struggled to explain himself, saying he’d seen some things “online,” and adding that the information he needs to understand the law “should be available to me.”

Of course, the information is available to him, and has been for months. Cassell chose not to do his homework before driving patients away—patients who, it turns out, may know a lot more than he does about the law he claims to hate.

This is painfully common—some of the loudest, angriest critics of the Affordable Care Act are also some of the least informed, most confused, embarrassingly ignorant observers anywhere. In this case, Cassell has become a national joke because he’s repulsed by a health care reform plan that he fully admits he doesn’t understand.

It’d be funny if it weren’t so pathetic.

Roger that…

Cassell’s Crass Confusion (Washington Monthly)

 
Media Matters has a great look at the way Fox News covered the Tea party rallies in Nevada recently. Comparing it to Woodstock although there were but 8000 attendees. One of their anchors saying “God bless these folks.” And of course covering the stump speech mumblings and goofy patriotic platitudes of their own on-air personality, Sarah Palin as if she was Abraham Lincoln delivering the Gettysburg Address.

Everyone describes Fox News as the GOP’s propaganda arm, but even more than that, it’s the network for stupid people. Fox’s anchors, “experts” and “reporters”—clearly—are as blinkered and as uninformed as their enraged, mouth-breathing viewers. Think about it: If Fox News didn’t exist, could Steve Doocy get a job in the news industry anywhere outside of Florida? At Fox News his bungling white guy idiocy is valuable commodity! His corporate overlord Darth Murdoch pays him an estimated $2 million dollars per year to say inane things on teevee! Incredible. Doocy must be the all time inverse-IQ-to-wealth ratio champ! Well played, dummy!

Below, thrill to the sight of nudnik Fox News reporter Griff Jenkins as he asks a child how she feels bearing the “costs of the government” on her shoulders. What a fucking knob this guy is. Here he asks a woman what her dog thinks about Obama’s policies.
 

 
Listen as Jimmy Swaggart’s son, evangelist Donnie Swaggart, calls Obama “That Philistine in Washington that is aided by the powers of darkness” and brags how he’s going to preach against the President. “Wait ‘til you hear the sermon—I got my .45s loaded and polished.” It’s like he wants to be the Glenn Beck of TV preachers. What a fucking idiot.

The only things a moron like Donnie Swaggart has going for him are his rather tarnished last name and the fact that there are people even dumber than he is willing to tithe 10% of their income to a cracker con man like him! He learned from the best, obviously. Disgraceful. Stupid and dare I say it, pretty hilarious. Love the deep voiced sidekick guy!

Via the Christian Nightmares Tumblr blog.

 
Dear Glenn Beck fans, this is what God thinks of you, Witness this awesome cosmic punking!

Dozens of people who parked at the University of Central Florida for an event say they were set up after their cars were towed. They said event parking signs directed them to a lot, but more than 50 cars in that lot were towed. People said those signs and their cars were gone when they got back.

A viewer contacted WFTV after his car was towed Saturday, along with 52 others. All of them were in line to recover their cars at an impound lot and all of them attended the Glenn Beck show at UCF.

The people parked in a Kappa Sigma lot. Mike Vedder thinks they were set up. He doesn’t know if it was a dislike of the conservative commentator or money.
“Maybe the have a deal with the tow truck company or maybe they got kickbacks under the table,” Vedder said.

They all said an event parking sign clearly directed them into the lot. Students at the fraternity wouldn’t comment, but WFTV caught up with the owner of Orange County Towing and Recovery, Ronald Hulbert.

“I have a lot at stake, a lot invested. I’m not going to lose it over a $125 tow, times 53, times 53, it was a good day,” Ronald Hulbert said.

Hulbert admits he’s never towed that many cars in one day before; he said it took him at least eight hours to tow all the cars. Each driver had to pay cash, netting him more than $6,600.

This is a great prank to play on the type of assholes who’d pay money to see Glenn Beck speak, isn’t it? Perfection. Whoever did this, I love you.
 

 
Thank you Scott!

 
From today’s Fishbowl LA newsletter comes this utterly stupefying clip of the “mad skillz” of right-wing Christian rapper, Polatik. Is this guy for (sur)real? Look at him! He must really think he’s helping the cause. What a tool! He makes even Michael Steele look like he’s got good instincts for expanding the Republican base! He raps about as well as Orrin Hatch! And man are his backing dancers FLY or what?!?! Look at the booty on those babes!

We were just watching the CSPAN feed from this weekend’s “Tea Party” hootinany in Nevada when we caught arguably the greatest (and by greatest we mean the absolute WORST) hip-hop performance of all time—from reactionary MC “Polatik.” Seriously, we can’t even figure out how to describe what we just saw. Like if someone shoved the love child of Chuck D and Mussolini onstage after it had spent the majority of its adult life sniffing glue…but funnier.

Can’t seem to find the Nevada clip anywhere online, but here’s an older performance from Waco, Texas. Almost as good.

Ya gotta love shit like this. Every single time these Tea baggers show up, they bring the stupid by the mega-tonnage. No younger voters are gonna look at something like this and be “inspired” to do anything… other than to register as Democrats! I say bring it on! Go Polatik go!

Rule #1: Do not wear your teabag hat out in the rain.
 
John Avlon, author of Wingnuts: How the Lunatic Fringe is Hijacking America, writes of a scary new Harris poll that says volumes about the level of political literacy in this country. If this is to be believed, it’s appalling stuff.

From The Daily Beast:

67 percent of Republicans (and 40 percent of Americans overall) believe that Obama is a socialist.
57 percent of Republicans (32 percent overall) believe that Obama is a Muslim
45 percent of Republicans (25 percent overall) agree with the Birthers in their belief that Obama was “not born in the United States and so is not eligible to be president”
38 percent of Republicans (20 percent overall) say that Obama is “doing many of the things that Hitler did”
Scariest of all, 24 percent of Republicans (14 percent overall) say that Obama “may be the Antichrist.”

 
If there was an American Idol for total assholism, the guy in this clip—you won’t wonder who I’m talking about, either—would be the unanimous winner. By national acclaim. A round of applause for the biggest fuckwit in America, please!

Hell, Chris Matthews even got Republican Mike Spence to admit this guy/these people is/are “despicable.” This is pretty much as low as it goes. Watch as this idiot literally starts throwing dollar bills at a man with Parkinson’s disease who is pro-health care reform. This turned my stomach in a way that not one lousy clip of the wingnuts and morons at the McCain/Palin rallies in 2008 could. This man (and the rest of these low IQ tea partying meanies) is a vile piece of shit. You have to wonder what went through his tiny mind (pride?) when he saw himself on television last night.

If that man can somehow be identified—anyone in Columbus, Ohio recognize him?—he should be fucked with mercilessly (identity theft would be a nice start). If there is a God, he’s not on this man’s side. Karma’s a bitch, shithead. I can’t wait until it comes back to bite your dumb ass…

But there is actually some good that comes out of incident like this, something that is so repulsive and mean and just… dumb: Eventually the public looks at creeps like him, especially younger people, and it turns them right off to anything the Republican Party have to say to them. Forever. GOPers, tea partying ignoramuses, your days are numbered. You are the past, not the future, of America. The demographic tide will bury you and there is nothing you can do about it. Nothing at all. Good riddance. Fuck off. America doesn’t need you.

 
Why in the world would any respectable company want to associate their product with a sociopathic sack of shit like Glenn Beck? And what ad buyer at which advertising agency would be dumb enough in 2010 to tell their client they should be purchasing advertising on the Glenn Beck show?!?! Whoever sold TurboTax on the idea should be drummed out of the advertising business for good. What fucking idiocy.

Nice work over at the StopBeck blog. Note how fast it was for TurboTax to pull out:

On March 9th, TurboTax advertisements began running on Glenn Beck’s show on the Fox News Channel.  Participants in the StopBeck effort promptly sprang to action.  Less than 24 hours later, TurboTax announced that they would be pulling their advertisements from Glenn Beck’s show.

This brings the total number of advertisers to drop Glenn Beck to 120.  On a related note, the broadcast of Glenn Beck’s show in the U.K. has been running without any advertisers for over a month now.

TurboTax’s statement:

Thanks everyone for your feedback, & for reminding us of what we value. We’ve pulled advertising from the Glenn Beck show.

 
If only American Big Brother was this good… Sorry about the wonky quality, but you’ll most definitely get the point.

 
Thank you Chris Campion!

 
Is Sen. Jim Inhofe jealous of Sarah Palin’s starring role as pied piper to the idiot wing of the Republican party, or is he perhaps trying to position himself as a potential running mate for her in 2012? It’s hard to tell what the silliest Senator from Oklahoma was thinking, or if he’s really capable of much thinking at all. Witness what the witless Republican had waiting for him when he showed up in Copenhagen with his “message” of a Hollywood conspiracy that’s behind global warming:

Sen. Jim Inhofe flew across the Atlantic and ?