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Poor Donald Trump hates pics of his double chin, so the Internet decided to help
12.01.2016
10:18 am

Topics:
Art
Politics

Tags:
Donald Trump
double chins


 
We have not yet reached full-on buyer’s remorse on the election of Donald Trump to be our nation’s president, but we’re getting there at a rapid pace. Not everybody regrets voting for Trump, to be sure, but he’s the first president to have an approval rating south of 50% after the election since we’ve been measuring that kind of thing, and I think we all know that Trump doesn’t have the kind of personality that’s going to thrive under the peculiar pressures that the presidency affords.

Which doesn’t mean that he’s been unable to use the same Trump distortion vortex that has served him so spectacularly well for the last year and a half, because it hasn’t failed him yet. Yet.

Still, there have been no shortage of episodes demonstrating Trump’s manifest unfitness for office. His meeting with the news media before Thanksgiving surely was one of the more striking examples of this. The network reporters in attendance expected the meeting to be about “the access they would get to the Trump administration,” but they underestimated the shallow form of vanity that constitutes the primary personality trait of one Donald J. Trump.

As the New Yorker reported, “Trump whined about everything from NBC News reporter Katy Tur’s coverage of him to a photograph the news network has used that shows him with a double chin. Why didn’t they use ‘nicer’ pictures?” Even worse, a participant at the meeting observed that our president-elect “truly doesn’t seem to understand the First Amendment. He doesn’t. He thinks we are supposed to say what he says and that’s it.”

Awwwww. Poor little Trump doesn’t get that a free and unfettered media is permitted to write what they please about him. The citizenry at large. of course, is also armed with similar freedoms…

When Trump threw down the gauntlet on angrily demanding that media and media consumers alike conspire to pretend that he does not have an unsightly double chin, the Internet responded. Boy, did it respond, with hastily slapped together Photoshopped montages that (when taken in all at once) somehow reveal something about the true nature of our future president. Everything from Jabba the Hutt (so. many. Jabba. the. Hutt. references.) to Monty Python’s Mr. Creosote became fair game for the legions of self-appointed “First Amendment People.” Here are some of the best results:
 

 

 

 
Tons more after the jump…....

Posted by Martin Schneider | Leave a comment
From Brexit to Mr. Brexit: An Englishman in Texas on Election Week
11.17.2016
01:09 pm

Topics:
Current Events
Politics
U.S.A.!!!

Tags:
Donald Trump


Photo: Christian Benavides

Here’s a picture of what, to an English, London-based US politics junkie, amounted to a peculiar sort of heaven…

It is Election Day, and I am riding shotgun in an SUV through unsmiling Texas…The back of the truck, covered in bumper stickers (‘SECEDE!’ ‘LIBERTARIAN!’ ‘Got shave ice?’), is also piled high with firearms… Rush Limbaugh is on the airwaves.

I’d heard “Rush” do his stuff before, online, back in the UK (that is, as a leftish, foreign voyeur). Now though – due to the place, the setting, and the others in the vehicle – “Rush” is no longer addressing some distant, crazy demographic, he is addressing us – and even, me.

“The bigger government gets, the less freedom there is. That’s just the way of the world, folks… “

I can feel, suddenly, how warm it must be tucked in beneath the dragon’s wing of American conservatism.

For the previous twelve-fifteen months, I had consumed at least two hours of US election news and commentary a day back in London. Chance had turned that 2-D experience into a 3-D one: I was staying in Austin to make an (unrelated) short film, and only after arranging everything realized I would be there for the vote.

Well, we had finished filming that afternoon. The driver of the SUV, Jim, was the local cameraman I’d hired. He was a conservative, a Christian, a libertarian and a sure-fire ‘Second Amendment’ sort. He’d supported Ted Cruz in the primaries, and had a modest, Glenn Beck-type aversion to Trump. He had already voted for Gary Johnson, but would very likely have gone Republican in a swing state.

In the back was Jim’s assistant and best bud, Lloyd, a thirty-six-year-old handyman. Jim and Lloyd lived a few minutes away from one another, in the pious and paranoiac suburbs of Pflugerville, where (as I witnessed) residents actually wave hi to one another, bagged-up AK-47s swaying from shoulders. Lloyd was a former Cruz supporter too, but had long since came around to – and voted for – Trump. 

Limbaugh was now reciting, with that gropingly intimate gruffness, the right-wing LIBERTY catechism. He was putting his whole self into it, too, in honor of the Historic Occasion. This catechism more than touched upon the Second Amendment. Meanwhile, my new friends and I, on our way to firing some guns, were also (politely) arguing about them.
“But what would ya do,” said Lloyd, keen to cut right to the heart of the matter, and leaning right up between the front seats. “If someone broke into your place in London, to rape your wife and kill your kids? What would you do, Thomas? Ask ’em to leave?”

Despite the facetious note at the end, this was no rhetorical question. Lloyd wanted to know.  So, by the looks of it, did Jim, who kept glancing over from his big Texan steering wheel, equally curious how one could even go about conceiving of such an event in a country that prohibits lethal weapons. (Had I, perhaps, cultivated some dangerous hand-to-hand ninja skills?)

“But that’s a ridiculously unlikely event.” 

“You can’t be too careful, Thomas,” said Jim.

“You can though!”  (Indeed, I was increasingly convinced that America was the definition of Being Too Careful.) “A piece of masonry might drop on your head and kill you, that doesn’t mean you go around carrying a metal umbrella.”

This journey is taking place because, the previous day, I had been (naively) scandalized to discover that my small crew were walking Austin’s squeaky-clean streets armed. I had never, I confessed, even held a gun. Jim and Lloyd had decided, there and then, to initiate me, intimating that the first whiff of cordite would see my English soul born again hard.

Jim flipped the dial to The Glenn Beck Show. To his amusement (take it as a testament to how closely I’d followed the damn election), I could hum along to the show’s sickly theme ditty.
 

Photo: Jordan Bunch

Finally, our SUV pulled into the Eagle Peak Firing Range.

I had half expected to encounter a devil-may-care joie de vivre therein. But no. All in all, the spirit in which “Second Amendment People” go about their pastime is achingly careful, like a weird mixture of model railroading and snake handling. I even had my wrists slapped by one of the Eagle Peak Firing Range attendants (bald and bent-double, with bright white mustache) for firing one of Jim’s semi-automatics too quickly.

“Yer Limey’s gettin’ carried away!” he told them.

Far more interesting than all the latches, barrels and banging was the thought of those millions of Americans simultaneously inching towards the voting booths, and of the mind-boggling political significance of what we were doing. Jim and Lloyd, for instance, both admitted to being “scared” by the prospect of a President Trump. He scared them – not enough, but somewhat– because of that overt streak of megalomania. Clinton, on the other hand, scared them more solely because of her perceived threat to those “second amendment rights.”
Were Americans proportionally more scared of death – or at least violent death – than other nationalities? Is it precisely this that makes them – paradoxically – so fucking dangerous?

America’s Other Half
For election night itself I was off to attend the Travis County Democratic Party’s shindig at Austin’s Driskill Hotel. Jim, very kindly braving a couple of hours of Austin traffic, dropped me off. (Conservatives, I have to say, are pretty kind people.)

It was long clear to me that, to many, Trump was a hero figure– a swaggering maverick macho sent by God to heave back the clock. What hadn’t occurred to me from the UK, however, was that cautious, data-driven, super-scripted, center-cleaving Hillary might be viewed as a hero, too. A Straight White Male want of imagination on my part, this, to be sure: taking the Driskill attendees as a local sample, it was immediately clear that Hillary was a hero to (at least) millions of American women.

This was of course in part because of the clear symbolism of the fight – ignoramus pussy-grabber versus shattered glass ceiling, and all that. However, I saw it had something to do with Hillary as an individual, too. Many of the supporters, covered in doubly pointed buttons (“I’m with HER!” “The Future is Female!” “Let’s Make Her-story!”), were ambitious, professional, young women, and were gazing up at the early election coverage with proportional but tangible admiration for the professionalism and (thus far) effectiveness of Clinton’s ascent.
After all, their candidate had done what had to be done, had worked hard, and had (again, up to that night) largely succeeded. It was a philosophy many a careerist lived by, yet for a woman, maximal establishment success in 2016, conventionally achieved vis-à-vis the unremarkable method of the Long Game, still required a fortitude that was arguably heroic.

Due to the time difference, I’d never watched US results come in live before (let alone, ‘in the flesh’), and to my virgin, outsider eyes, the main event resembled nothing other than (American) Football: an interminable, attritional contest of hard-won yards and mind-numbing strategic rumblings.

We all know, of course, how the game ultimately went.

Afterthought
Once the whole sorry contest had run its course, I got a cab back to where I staying (North Loop). The driver had voted for Hillary, and was depressed as hell.  Then he told me (upsetting my simple outline) that he was relieved he already own five guns himself: under a President Trump, he suspected he might just end up needing them.

“I think there’s going to be a war,” he put in, as an afterthought.

He was right about that, I reckoned. For all Trump’s isolationist rhetoric (the only OK thing about his campaign) it is almost impossible to imagine the Trump Era coming to term without a significant conflict. And conflict evidently remains America’s grand passion, not to mention its net surplus: the globe sits braced for export.

Posted by Thomas McGrath | Leave a comment
It’s what we deserve: David Hasselhoff and Marla Maples butcher ‘If I Were a Carpenter’


 
It’s not the thing David Hasselhoff is most known for in America, but he did have a singing career. In 1989, perhaps capitalizing on the stirrings of liberty in the Soviet bloc, he released a single called “Looking for Freedom,” which was a #1 hit in guess what country. Just a few weeks after the fall of the Berlin Wall, on New Year’s Eve 1989, “the Hoff” performed the song at the Wall itself.

Knight Rider had been a solid hit for Hasselhoff in the mid-1980s and shortly became an inexplicable sensation in the German-speaking countries. In 1989 Hasselhoff took on the role of Mitch Buchannon in Baywatch, which would become an iconic pageant of T&A throughout the 1990s.

Having successfully solidified his career with a second hit show, in 1994 Hasselhoff was having thoughts about reigniting his music career. He planned a lavish pay-per-view live concert in Atlantic City, scheduling the concert and transmission for a certain Friday in June—the exact date was June 17, 1994. The New York Knicks and the Houston Rockets were fighting it out in Game 5 of the NBA Finals, but that couldn’t be helped.

Hasselhoff could not have known that the L.A. Police Department would choose that day to arrange the arrest of O.J. Simpson on murder charges. As all people on earth as well as certain lifeforms on Saturn know, a distraught Simpson declined the opportunity to turn himself in and instead embarked on a slow-moving car chase that lasted several hours, helicopter footage of which dominated the TV ratings for the day (and evening on the East Coast) like few events before or since. Hasselhoff’s investment of several hundreds of thousands of dollars would yield next to no viewership.

In attendance in Atlantic City that night was Donald Trump, and in fact (according to Hasselhoff) it was Trump who informed Hasselhoff that the chase was underway.

Marla Maples had become Trump’s second wife in 1993, and for reasons unknown Hasselhoff thought it would be a good idea for him and Marla to attempt to cover Tim Hardin‘s classic song “If I Were a Carpenter,” most memorably covered in 1970 by Johnny Cash and June Carter.

It didn’t turn out as good as that version.

See the video after the jump…....

Posted by Martin Schneider | Leave a comment
Drawing dicks on Donald: Art exhibit elevates US politics to a juvenile level


 
One of my favorite single-serving Facebook groups is also one of the most massively puerile. Make of that what you will, I ain’t proud. It’s called “Drawing Dicks on the Herald Sun,” and it’s exactly as it says on the box—artists drawing highly improbable members onto photos printed in Melbourne, AU’s newspaper of record, the Herald Sun. As if to prove that 8th grade is forever, the page has attracted almost 400K followers, and has even become the subject of art exhibits. Their “About” page description is a masterpiece of parsimony:

Drawing dicks on things may seem immature, but in reality it’s hilarious. My fellow workmates and I get bored at lunch, these are some of our master pieces. Feel free to share your own, but please have some creativity.

The 2nd Amendment to the US Constitution has roughly the same word count and fails at that level of pristine clarity. FUCK YEAH, ‘STRAYA!

The latest exhibit elevating DDOTHS’s study-hall oeuvre to clean well lighted places is opening this Friday at ArtBoy, a pop art gallery in Melbourne’s southeastern suburbs, and it focuses on the coming US Presidential election—obviously a matter of global importance. It’s called “Doodles on Donald,” and it features newspaper photos of the Donald (and, presumably for balance’s sake, a Hillary) embellished with great big veiny monster dicks lovingly rendered in pencil, paint, and ballpoint pen.

Heh heh. BALLpoint.

Over 40 pieces by 30 different artists will be on display. Naturally every single thing to follow from here is totally unsafe for work (unless of course you work with cock). Artworks were provided by Larry Boxshall, the exhibit’s organizer, and also the director of a documentary about DDOTHS. Trailers for that doc follow the images.
 

 

 
More dicks drawn on Donald after the jump…

Posted by Ron Kretsch | Leave a comment
Pussy Riot’s ‘Straight Outta Vagina’: Female sexuality is bigger than any populist megalomaniac
10.25.2016
02:14 pm

Topics:

Tags:
Pussy Riot
Donald Trump


 

“Don’t play stupid, don’t play dumb, vagina’s where you’re really from.”

Russian feminist art pranksters (and political prisoners) Pussy Riot have released a new video for their catchy new Le Tigre-esque single “Straight Outta Vagina.” Shot at the Ace Hotel in downtown Los Angeles by director Phillip R Lopez, the project was inspired by a certain Putin-loving, pussy-grabbing billionaire vulgarian dick who happens to be the Republican Party’s candidate for President of the United States.

Pussy Riot’s Nadya Tolokonnikova told the Guardian:

“This song could be considered an answer to Trump. But I believe the idea of powerful female sexuality is much bigger than any populist megalomaniac man. Vagina is bigger than Trump.”

Tolokonnikova has certainly noticed how Trump’s strongman act lines up with that of her own nemesis, Vladimir Putin:

“Politicians are praising ‘strong leadership.’ Trump openly supports the authoritarian methods of Vladimir Putin. And it’s scary. It’s not the world in which I want to live.”

The Russian activist described the “patriarchal and misogynist ideas” of Trump and Putin to a sexually transmitted disease. Pussy Riot have announced two additional upcoming videos commenting on US and Russian authoritarian and nationalist politics.

Below, the Phillip R Lopez-directed video for “Straight Outta Vagina” by Pussy Riot, featuring Desi Mo & Leikeli47.
 

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
‘Trump Has A Huge Night at the Second Presidential Debate’: Genius funny new Vic Berger supercut


 
Once again Vic Berger comes through with the goods. Here’s his latest supercut of the most recent Trump/HRC face-off. I was shrieking with laughter throughout it.

The master’s “artist statement” follows:

After the release of those scandalous tapes, the pressure was on for Donald Trump at the second debate. But the presidential nominee proved he doesn’t need the support of his party, or women, or pretty much anyone else – so long as he believes in himself.

Press play. Do it now.
 

 
After the jump, watch Vic Berger’s take on the first one, ‘Trump Has A Total Meltdown At The First Presidential Debate’

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
Talking animatronic ‘Zoltar’ Trump machine mysteriously placed on street corner in Brooklyn
10.11.2016
09:59 am

Topics:
Amusing
Politics

Tags:
Donald Trump


Photo by Camille Dodero
 
There’s not much to say about this talking Trump animatronic as no one knows who’s behind it (yet). It just showed up this morning on a street corner in Greenpoint.

Camille Dodero caught everything on video and posted it to Twitter.

Apparently after Camille shot this footage of the “All-Seeing Trump,” he was packed in a van and driven away. Maybe he’ll be making appearances around the city today. Only the “All-Seeing Trump” knows for sure.

Is Banksy behind this?

UPDATE: The All-Seeing Trump was later dropped off for a bit outside of Trump Tower:

via Gothamist

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Your pre-debate musical playlist inspired by Donald Trump!

 
gergenv
 
Hey America! Here’s a wild Donald Trump-inspired playlist that all the hip kids are tuning into! I did an expanded version of this on my Intoxica radio show on Luxuriamusic.com. This should keep you in “the mood” until the debate!

And here we go!
 

 
More Trump-inspired music for all you hepcats and pussycats after the jump…

Posted by Howie Pyro | Leave a comment
Playground Bully: This BRILLIANT anti-Trump video needs to be quietly POSTED ALL OVER FACEBOOK NOW!


 
At this point, it’s a question that’s been pondered—quite a lot—by the professional political pondering class:

Is it even possible to change the mind of the hardcore Donald Trump supporter?

Is there any argument whatsoever that would sway the steadfast fan of the anus-mouthed orangey-faced bellowing billionaire fascist blowhard who sits atop the Republican ticket? Stupid is gonna stupid, and if there is one thing that this year’s election has accomplished it’s demonstrating that the American electorate is—scientifically speaking—much dumber than many of us would have liked to believe. There’s no other way to explain it. Why bend to political correctness—the great bugaboo of reichwingers everywhere, of course—when the simplest and most obvious statement of fact will suffice:

Trump voters are fucking idiots, if they weren’t idiots, they wouldn’t be Trump voters.

Sorry, but Aristotle himself couldn’t have put it any more succinctly than I just did. Not Wittgenstein either.

Oh yes, the Great IQ Stratification©—as I like to call it—has already occurred. It’s been pretty obvious to anyone with a functioning brain since at least Sarah Palin was unleashed foaming at the mouth with her unique form of racist dog whistle glossolalia that only stupid people can hear, that we’re well past that point.

Think about it: In THIS spacetime continuum, the real-life inspiration for Back to the Future‘s caricature bully Biff Tannen is the Republican nominee.

If Trump wins, Amy Goodman will have to change the name of her NPR show to “Idiocracy Now.”

Ha ha ha ha ha. If you get these jokes, and of course you do, you’re not a Trump voter—amIrite?—and that’s the problem, the self-reinforcing echo chamber of the Internet. Hell, I’ve written some nasty shit about Trump for years on Twitter and on this blog, and all I ever get are “atta-boys” from people who also hate Trump and his incoherent minions. Even when I am trying my level best to be condescending and deliberately rude, no one within the sound of my tweets ever disagrees with me. They feel about the terroristic man-toddler©  (thank you Charles M. Blow) the same way I do. “We” all loathe Trump. I’m just tweeting to the choir.

[Amusingly one of the rare times that anyone whatsoever has sent me any pushback on any of my anti-Trump tweets and retweets was none other than Trump advisor, frequent guest on The Alex Jones Show and complete shithead Roger Stone, who must search for his own name constantly. Then I sent him this. It was fun. Bigly fun. I love Twitter!]
 

 
But going back to the original question, is there anything—any fact, TV commercial, slogan, viral video, bumper sticker—whatever—that would change the minds of soft-brained morons who would happily line up to vote for Biff Tannen? Something that you could make them watch, with eyes pinned open like Alex DeLarge in A Clockwork Orange that would get through to them or make a difference?

Maybe there is. The video below, made by the Patriotic Artists & Creatives PAC—which features an actual terroristic man-toddler standing in for the one who used to host The Apprentice—might be able to pry even the tightest shut minds open for a second.

Wisdom from the mouths of babes? It’s perhaps the only thing that would work on the simpleton Trump voters. Best that I’ve seen, anyway. So post it everywhere. The video, I mean, probably don’t repost this blog on Facebook, that’s just being mean (and they won’t get the jokes anyway)

What country do you want your children to grow up in?
 

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
Of Skittles and Skypes: Shocking codewords ‘Racist Trump Twitter’ uses to avoid account suspension


 
This fucking election. I’ve heard that exact phrase so much more this year than I ever have before. The rise of Trump’s racist, sexist, illiberal id within the Republican Party has been depressing to watch. We’re all holding our breath to see where all of that unruly anger goes after (please God) Trump loses the election on November 8. 

In the meantime, the mainstreaming of Trump (our own American Mussolini®) and his politics of racial resentment, the KKK’s David Duke (whose name I’ve heard more in the last week than in the previous 20 years combined), and Breitbart News executive Stephen Bannon has also meant an inevitable education in the loathsome habits of the overtly and proudly racist part of America that is normally kept under wraps. I don’t want to know this stuff, but have learned about it via a sort of toxic, brain-damaged cultural osmosis.

So here’s something I learned this year. In white supremacist quarters the number “88” has special significance, because “H” is the 8th letter of the alphabet and so it can be taken to mean “HH” = “Heil Hitler” (also “8” kind of looks like an “H” if you think about it). It took the political rise of Trump to bring that to my attention. Fun stuff!

If you see the number 88 being thrown around by people who probably hate blacks and Latinos, it’s not an accident, it’s a dog whistle to the people who (wink) think of themselves as understanding the “true America” in which immigrants and blacks always win and white people and Christians never get an even break.

You may have seen the triple parentheses, also called “echoes,” around people’s names, which look like this: (((Martin Schneider))). That’s white supremacist code for “Jewish.” (Fortunately, Twitter users are now adopting the practice voluntarily in order to defuse it of its meaning.)

And the innocuous word Skittles is a racist dog whistle because that’s what Trayvon Martin had on his person when George Zimmerman shot and killed him for no good reason.

Some of you might recall that Trump’s son Donald Jr. recently unveiled an ugly metaphor having to do with the number of poisonous Skittles could be in a bowl before you’d make a decision to stop eating them, the idea being to communicate the advisability of a zero-tolerance policy on Muslim immigration.

That metaphor has roots in Nazi propagandist Julius Streicher—in more recent years the concept has been used against Muslims and black people using M&Ms as the candy, but the switch to Skittles was surely done as a conscious shout-out to Zimmerman. It’s astonishing how few news reports noticed this aspect of the metaphor, but the governing logic of an effective dog whistle is that most people—non racist people—can’t hear it.

On Saturday Buzzfeed ran an item by Alex Kantrowitz alerting “normals” to some new codewords the white supremacists on Twitter are using to evade detection. I heard about it via this tweet from Alex Goldman, who describes the groups using the terms as “Racist Trump twitter.”
 

 
Here’s the ugly list of words and their “true” meanings among white supremacists. Notice the presence of that loaded word skittles to mean Muslims or Arabs:
 

nigger = google
Jew/Kike = skype
Spic/Mexican = yahoo
Gook/Chink = bing
Muslim/Arab = skittle
gay (men) = butterfly
lesbian = fishbucket
tranny = durdens
liberals/dems = carsalesman
conservatives = reagans
libertiarian = a leppo

 
Here’s Kantrowitz on the reasons for the subterfuge:
 

The code appears to have originated in response to Google’s Jigsaw program, a new AI-powered approach to combating harassment and abuse online. The program seems to have inspired members of the online message board 4chan to start “Operation Google,” using Google as a derogatory term for blacks in an attempt to get Google to filter out its own name. The code developed from there.

 
This is obviously an elaborate game of whack-a-mole, but just because it’s kind of futile in no way diminishes the importance of letting some daylight in on these creeps. If they have to go through a hundred iterations of inventing some whole new elaborate code to enjoy their twisted, simple-minded hate among themselves, then maybe eventually they’ll get the message that society is not going to put up with it.

Here’s an example of the code in use. It don’t get a whole lot clearer than this, does it?

 
Here are a couple of other examples:

 

 
Ugh! This fucking election? How about This fucking country???

Previously on Dangerous Minds:
10 sexting codes parents should know

Posted by Martin Schneider | Leave a comment
Send a dick lollipop to Donald Trump

sensadicktotrump1.jpg
 
Once upon a time, I naively believed America was all about the pursuit of happiness, fast food, the right to bear arms and so on and so forth. But I learnt pretty quick that if America is about anything it’s about the right to make a buck out of everything. From healthcare to war—and peace—-politics and Presidential elections—everything in America has a price tag, which devalues the worth of everything.

Even protesting the things you hate costs money.

I only mention this as it’s now possible to show your contempt for Donald Trump by sending him a dick lollipop in the mail.

Yes! For just $9.99 (p+p included) you can send a suckable pink phallus-shaped candy straight to the Donald at his Trump Tower penthouse.

The company behind this Send Dicks to Donald even give their reasons (as if any were required) why you should send a dick to Donald:

To say 2016 has been a shit show is an understatement. However the most bizarre and frightening of headlines has been that the next president may be the most power hungry, immature, psychopathic piece of shit to ever walk the face of the earth.

Since the beginning of his campaign he’s preached racism, ignorance, and misogyny. Trump rallies have become a place where people known for their love of NASCAR and fucking their cousins gather for a white power rally without calling it that. Anybody with a higher IQ than a potato knows the turd you took this morning is more qualified for commander-in-chief than he is. So what would a Trump presidency look like?

1) A nuclear holocaust started over a Twitter war.
2)  All American-born minorities being deported to their ethnicity’s homeland.
3)  A revival of Celebrity Apprentice for a shot at Vice President.
4)  Facts are banned.
5)  Forced unpaid maternity leave for all women in the work force despite them having children or not.
6) It’s revealed that repulsive excuse for hair on top of his head is really an alien parasite using him as a host body with one mission: Destroy earth from the top-down, one ignorant statement at a time.

Perhaps a tad over the top—or perhaps not, your mileage may vary—but everyone needs a good sales pitch.

The whole reason for this project is to stop the stream of BS coming out of Trump’s mouth… by putting a dick in it.

Well a lollipop in the shape of a dick that is. SendDicksToDonald.com has one message: ‘Eat a dick, Donald Trump!’

The lollipop will be sent anonymously. Personally for my $9.99 I would want Trump to know that I’d sent him a dick in the mail—but each to their own.

Send a dick to Donald here.
 
sendadicktotrump3.jpg
 
Previously on Dangerous Minds
Donald Trump portrait made from 500 pictures of dicks
Just a nude drawing of Donald Trump in all his glory
 

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Leave a comment
Finally, campaign swag that treats Donald Trump with the respect he deserves!
09.28.2016
12:32 pm

Topics:
Politics

Tags:
Donald Trump
Hillary Clinton


 
September has been white-knuckle season for all good-minded opponents of the unbelievable Republican nominee for President, Donald Trump. In recent weeks Kellyanne Conway, Stephen Bannon and Roger Ailes somehow managed to get Trump to pull more or less even with the front-runner, Hillary Clinton. On Monday, Clinton had a very effective performance in the first debate against the harrumphing and hapless mansplainer, and it may just be the trick that puts the race out of reach for Trump—we can only hope!

In the meantime, you need a way to register your opposition to Trump, and Hillary’s lawn signs, God bless ‘em, don’t strike quite the right tone for a monster as malignant as the Donald. No, for that you should consider Pins Won’t Save The World, a suite of funny, rude, blunt campaign swag put out by Sagmeister & Walsh that is a perfect commentary on politics as it is conducted in 2016.

You can acquire the colorful and profane imagery in several forms: pins ($8), T-shirts ($18-$26), stickers ($1), patches ($10), posters ($20). Some of the best pins are already sold out, unfortunately, but there’s plenty of good stuff still available.
 

 

 
More terrific anti-Trump gear after the jump…..

Posted by Martin Schneider | Leave a comment
King Turd: This absurdist play from 1896 could have been written about President Trump!


Poster design for a re-interpreted version of Alfred Jarry’s ‘Ubu Roi’ from 2013 in which the tale of Donald Trump’s golf course development in Scotland follows the storyline of the play
 
French absurdist playwright Alfred Jarry’s Ubu Roi (“Ubu the King” or “King Turd”), a pre-Surrealist work, is considered an influential classic of French theatre. It originally premiered in 1896. There were three Ubu plays written by Jarry, but only one, Ubu Roi, was ever performed during his short lifetime (Jarry died at the age of 34 of tuberculosis. After he beckoned a friend to come closer, his whispered last word on his deathbed was allegedly “toothpick” or whatever it is that the French call them).

The Ubu trilogy was conceived to employ actors and marionettes in a vicious satire of greed, royalty, religion, stupidity and abuse of power by the wealthy. The two other plays were Ubu Cocu (“Ubu Cuckolded”) and Ubu Enchaîné (“Ubu in Chains”).

The protagonist “Père Ubu” (yes, this is obviously where the band’s name came from) was originally based on the teenage lampooning of a stuffy teacher written by two friends of Jarry’s from school, but Jarry expanded the plays and used the character as a vehicle for his howling critique of bourgeois society’s evils.

People absolutely hated the scandalous Ubu Roi—it was considered lewd, crude, vulgar and low—and its controversial author. At the premiere in Paris, it was booed for a good fifteen minutes after the first word, “Merdre!” (his coining for “shit,” deliberately close to the French merde and translated in English as “Pshit” or “Shittr!”), was spoken. Fist fights broke out in the orchestra pit. Jarry’s supporters yelled “You wouldn’t understand Shakespeare, either!” His detractors rejoined with their variations on the theme of “shit.”

William Butler Yeats was apparently in the audience that night in 1896 and is alleged to have said “What more is possible? After us, the Savage God.”

I can think of something… or rather *someone*...

The play was accused of being politically subversive, the work of an anarchist mindfucker or even that it was a “hoax” designed to hoodwink a gullible middle-class audience with metaphorical shit that some of them, at least, would say tasted good.

Again, this seems so freaking familiar, doesn’t it?

Not that an absurdist agitator like Alfred Jarry cared about any of this. Characters had names like “MacNure,” “Pissweet” and “Pissale.” Confrontationally pissing off the audience was practically the entire point for him. Ubu’s scepter, after all, was a shit-smeared toilet brush.
 

A ship of fools in a sea of shit…

Via Wikipedia:

According to Jane Taylor, “The central character is notorious for his infantile engagement with his world. Ubu inhabits a domain of greedy self-gratification.” Jarry’s metaphor for the modern man, he is an antihero—fat, ugly, vulgar, gluttonous, grandiose, dishonest, stupid, jejune, voracious, cruel, cowardly and evil—who grew out of schoolboy legends about the imaginary life of a hated teacher who had been at one point a slave on a Turkish Galley, at another frozen in ice in Norway and at one more the King of Poland. Ubu Roi follows and explores his political, martial and felonious exploits, offering parodic adaptations of situations and plot-lines from Shakespearean drama, including Macbeth, Hamlet and Richard III: like Macbeth, Ubu—on the urging of his wife—murders the king who helped him and usurps his throne, and is in turn defeated and killed by his son; Jarry also adapts the ghost of the dead king and Fortinbras’s revolt from Hamlet, Buckingham’s refusal of reward for assisting a usurpation from Richard III and The Winter’s Tale‘s bear.

“There is,” wrote Taylor, “a particular kind of pleasure for an audience watching these infantile attacks. Part of the satisfaction arises from the fact that in the burlesque mode which Jarry invents, there is no place for consequence. While Ubu may be relentless in his political aspirations, and brutal in his personal relations, he apparently has no measurable effect upon those who inhabit the farcical world which he creates around himself. He thus acts out our most childish rages and desires, in which we seek to gratify ourselves at all cost.” The derived adjective “ubuesque” is recurrent in French and francophone political debate.

Sound like anyone you watched in a debate last night who made a total ass of himself in front of one of the largest television audiences in history?

All that was missing was the fucking shit-smeared toilet brush if you ask me….
 
More absurdity after the jump…

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
‘MAKE AMERICA HATE AGAIN’: Get your Mexican death metal anti-Trump shirts—from Walmart!


 
When Brujeria arrived on the death metal scene in 1990, they announced their existence with the 7” “¡Demoniaco!.” Its cover was a cheap punk collage of extremely graphic crime photos probably culled from ¡ALARMA!, the infamously gory Mexican tabloid (accordingly graphic content at that link). The band was comprised of members of Faith No More, Fear Factory, and Napalm Death, but they hid their identities, pretending to be actual Mexican drug lords who hid their identities to keep law enforcement at bay. I’m not sure how many people bought into that preposterous conceit (though I know one person who did, JIM), but they kept the music and the gory artwork coming, releasing the classic “¡Machetazos!” single on Alternative Tentacles in 1992, then the 1993 full-length Matando Güeros, which instantly became notorious for sporting their nastiest cover yet—a hand from out-of-frame displaying a decomposing severed head.
 

 
Once the cat was out of the bag about the band’s true identities, it turned out that for the most part its members really were Latino—which made their “Macarena” parody “Marijuana” all the more potent and hilarious a stab, IMO—and the band has continually existed to this day, albeit with a massively revolving lineup. And as would seem sensible for a band partly comprised of Mexican-Americans, they really do not like Donald Trump, and to register their displeasure, they’ve released a t-shirt that swaps in the Donald’s shitlousy fucking head for the decaying head from Matando Güeros, complete with the necrotic skin on the nose. Do I need to warn you that graphic images of severed heads are graphic? I don’t, right?
 

 

 
Compounding the extremely dark humor in this is the fact that the shirt is being made available through Walmart. (I include a link to Walmart for illustrative purposes only, and I would encourage you, if you want one of these, to buy one elsewhere. They’re way less expensive on Amazon, and of course buying one from the band’s label is a more directly supportive option.) I understand this, actually—there are significant pockets of death metal fans in areas where Wallyworld is the only retail outlet, but are these shirts actually in stores? I would tend to doubt it, since far less graphic record covers have been banned from the chain. And on the political end of the discussion, while Trump’s opponent, Hillary Clinton, famously served on Walmart’s board from 1986 to 1992—at a time when she was married to the governor of Arkansas, where that chain is headquartered—it’s hard to imagine that company would officially or even privately support her candidacy over the virulently anti-ACA, anti-immigrant, anti-corporate tax, pro-wage depression Trump. On the other hand, Trump has talked about a 45% tariff on Chinese imports, which couldn’t possibly make Walmart very happy.

Brujeria’s new album Pocho Aztlan will be released on Friday.

Check out the lead-off single “Bruja” (and more) after the jump…

Posted by Ron Kretsch | Leave a comment
NUDE Donald Trump statue glued to the ground in several cities


 
Members of the anarchist artists collective INDECLINE have unveiled life-size statues of Donald Trump naked—and with no testicles and a teeny weenie—in New York, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Cleveland and Seattle. “The Emperor Has No Balls” is the name of their multi-city guerilla installation.

What I like best about this is that clearly these wonderful pieces of ostensibly “public” art were made, really, for just one person’s dubious pleasure: Donald Trump’s! That the rest of us might find them amusing seems like a bonus.

Via the Washington Post:

The eyes scowl, the mouth pouts and the veiny, almost reptilian skin looks like it was torn off a human-size frog and dipped in bronzer.

The job of conceptualizing and creating the statues fell to a man who goes by the name “Ginger,” a Las Vegas-based artist. Ginger told The Post that he has a long history of designing monsters for haunted houses and horror movies.

In addition to doing makeup for a Busta Rhymes video, Ginger’s résumé includes another source of great pride for the artist: He’s a regular keynote speaker at haunted house conventions across the country. (We checked and, yeah, they’re a thing.)

“When the guys approached me, it was all because of my monster-making abilities,” he said, referring to INDECLINE members. “Trump is just yet another monster, so it was absolutely in my wheelhouse to be able to create these monstrosities.”

The statues were commissioned in April. The INDECLINE pranksters said they wanted Trump’s effigy to appear to have a “constipated look.” Each statue was glued to the ground using industrial strength epoxy.

Genius!
 

The “saggy old man butt” view from NYC’s Union Square.

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
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