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Experience ‘Clown Fucker,’ the perfect Morrissey parody
07.03.2014
05:52 am

Topics:
Amusing
Music

Tags:
Morrissey
clowns
Dana Gould

Clown Fucker
 
On the most recent episode of his podcast, veteran standup and former Simpsons writer Dana Gould explored what is and isn’t mentionable in comedy—the title of the episode is “You Can’t Say That!” In the service of making a different point, Gould happened to play a clip (about 10 minutes in) from his 1998 album Funhouse, a clip that has the most spot-on, deadly accurate impression of Morrissey I’ve ever heard.

Through sheer imaginative brio, Gould, who hails from Massachusetts, manages to nail the exaggeratedly maudlin quality of Moz’s lyrics, his affectation of turning the last word of every other line into a four-syllable affair, his achy-breaky way of singing every word in a different register…. all, of course, by showcasing content that would be very unlikely to make it into a Morrissey song: the saga of a one-night stand with a circus clown. Brutality can do wonders in comedy, which explains the song’s title (and chorus): “Clown Fucker.”

Here are the lyrics, but you have to hear Gould’s version to get anything like the full effect:
 

He awoke in the morning and to no surprise
The man of last night had fled
Stains of white greasepaint on her body that ran
From her toes to the top of her head

The alarm stung her ear, she rolled over to spy
Much to her chagrin and her dread
A crumpled red nose and two oversized shoes
Strewn by the side of the bed

chorus
“Clown fucker! Clown fucker!” That’s what they said
“Clown fucker! Clown fucker!” That’s what they said
“No, never fuck a clown, dear,” that’s what mommy said
“Never, never fuck a clown, dear,” that’s what mommy said

She went to the bar and she started to drink
She drank and she drank and got drunk
She walked up to him and said, “How could you leave?”
But all he could do was honk

She knew it was over, it sunk in just then
It was time to say “it’s the end”
He walked out the door and stepped into a car
With forty-eight of his friends….

 

 

Posted by Martin Schneider | Leave a comment
Morrissey’s first solo concert was minor bedlam
05.22.2014
05:41 am

Topics:
Music

Tags:
Morrissey
Smiths


 
Born May 22, 1959, Mr. Steven Patrick Morrissey turns 55 today. You may have heard of his old band, The Smiths.

To commemorate, we offer this footage of his first solo gig, in 1988 at Wolverhampton Civic Hall, which also kinda doubled as The Smiths’ farewell. The rhythm section here is a pre-lawsuit Mike Joyce and Andy Rourke, and the guitarist is Craig Gannon, who served the Smiths as bassist during Rourke’s brief 1986 ouster from the band, and became their touring rhythm guitarist thereafter. As The Smiths split up before the release of their final album, Strangeways, Here We Come, this was the only live performance of some of that material ever undertaken by this many Smiths at once.

Per the wonderful online Smiths/Morrissey archive Passions Just Like Mine:

Admission was free to anyone wearing a Smiths or Morrissey shirt. Only half the fans who traveled to Wolverhampton made it inside the venue. Outside the queuing and organisation almost turned to chaos. The atmosphere inside was obviously very charged. There was a great deal of cheering and chanting Morrissey’s name to the English football tune. Throughout the short set many fans made it on stage, much more than for a typical Smiths concert.

Morrissey came on stage to a thunder of applause, after a long period of cheering and chanting. In the first song, “Stop Me If You Think You’ve Heard This One Before”, he sang “And so I drank one, or was it four?” instead of “... it became four”. He actually sang that line as it had been originally written and not as it appeared on “Strangeways Here We Come”. Before “Interesting Drug” which had yet to be released and was unknown to the fans, Morrissey started “This song is called…” but never managed to finish his introduction. In that song just like in the previous one, “Disappointed”, Morrissey missed many lines because of the mayhem with the fans on stage.

It’s true—Morrissey gets manhandled worse than Dead Kennedys-era Jello Biafra here. Having touched the garment of their messiah, I’m sure most of those kids turned out OK.
 

Posted by Ron Kretsch | Leave a comment
At last night’s Morrissey gig fans mobbed the stage and attempted ‘to mount him like a steed’
05.08.2014
01:53 pm

Topics:
Amusing
Music

Tags:
Morrissey

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Fans mobbed singer Morrissey last night during his gig at the City National Civic, in San Jose. Morrissey was in the middle of his second encore singing “One Day Goodbye Will Be Farewell,” which obviously proved to be too much for some fans who jumped onstage to give the singer a farewell hug.

Hugging may have been okay, but according to the OC Weekly, some fans “tackled” Morrissey and there were “a couple creepy attempts by fans to mount him like a steed”. Say what? Then things really got further out of hand as:

...someone broke through and took Moz to the ground, causing the band to stop playing as boos roared through the crowd. What a way to start the U.S. tour! Moz’ new album, World Peace is None of Your Business, is slated for release in July. Hopefully he’s okay, but as of now, there’s no official word on his physical condition.

Fans now wait to see if Morrissey will play his show tonight at The Observatory in Santa Ana, otherwise there will be a lot of people miserable now.

If you’re not able to see Morrissey on his current tour (details here), you may be interested to hear of plans to make a movie about Morrissey’s pre-Smiths days. Honlodge, a production company based in Manchester, England, are in development with a script written by director Mark Gill and William Thacker. The movie is currently under the working title “Steven Morrissey” and according to Gill:

“The film covers Morrissey’s life pre-Smiths and is more of a portrait than a conventional biopic.

“It’s as much a film for non-Morrissey fans as it is for die-hard devotees, but I can’t deny that this is a love letter to Steven Patrick Morrissey and the dark satanic mills of Manchester.”

Filming is scheduled to start at the end of this year. More details here.
 

 
Via OC Weekly

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Leave a comment
Pop Stardom is Murder: Early Smiths interview by Tony Wilson, 1985
04.28.2014
09:55 am

Topics:
Music
Television

Tags:
Morrissey
The Smiths
Tony Wilson


 
Tony Wilson was a multi-media Renaissance man, a co-founder of Factory Records, a TV reporter, journalist and host, and the man who helped make Manchester a city of cultural and musical importance during the seventies, eighties and nineties with such bands as Joy Division, New Order, A Certain Ratio, The Durutti Column and Happy Mondays. Wilson may have been Manchester’s “Mr. Music” but he was also known as the man who didn’t sign The Smiths.

Like all tales of regret and lost opportunity, there are multiple versions as to why Wilson didn’t sign “the ultimate Indie band,” and this is the one he gave to Ian Watson in 2003:

Watson: Did you ever try and sign The Smiths?

Wilson: “No. I was very close to The Smiths. I was very close to Morrissey. Morrissey was part of that little punk scene until 77 and there was a social whirl around a house called 35 Mayfield Road where Steven partially lived and where Linder lived, who was Howard Devoto’s girlfriend and also still today is Morrissey’s best friend. But I treated Steven, he was our genius writer. He was the speccy kid in the corner, the clever little swotty outsider boy, and very brilliant. My first contact with him was when he sent me as a schoolboy, a battered New York Dolls album sleeve and said ‘Dear Mr Wilson, why can’t there be more bands on television like this?’ so I knew him and I actually was encouraging his writing. He wrote a fantastic short play about eating toast and I think he gave it to me and I lost it.

“Then, at some point, whenever it was in 1980, he phoned me up and said would you come and see me. I drove out to King’s Road, Stretford, to his mum’s house, went to his bedroom upstairs and sat on the edge of the bed while he sat on the chair, surrounded by James Dean posters and he informed me that he’d decided to become a pop star. I sort of went ‘well Steven that’s very interesting’, and inside I was thinking ‘you must be fucking joking’. The least likely, you’re off your fucking head. Completely in my mind, absolutely, the least likely rock n roll star imaginable in the universe.

“So then obviously we were all part of a group of mutual friends and I can remember saying this same thing to Richard Boon, my mate who manages the Buzzcocks, and about four or five months later the two of us went to a gig in the Manhattan Club in Manchester. I think it was probably the Smiths’ first or second gig and as we walked out, I was blown away, it was fantastic, and he said ‘what do you think?’, and I said ‘I take it back completely, he’s amazing’.

“However, at that point in time Factory had gone through its wonder days of 78, 79 and we were now in late 1980 and into early 81. This is pre ‘Blue Monday’. We weren’t selling records, we were useless, we’d lost our plot and I was very depressed by the company. I had a band called Stockholm Monsters, I couldn’t sell Stockholm Monsters records and I thought fine and my honest approach was, I’m not going to saddle Steven with this pile of shit, with Factory when it’s shit. So I didn’t even pursue it. I said to him ‘I wouldn’t be any use to you’.

“That was my version of why I didn’t sign the Smiths. I know the Smiths have their version. Everyone has.”

Morrissey is not the kind of man to let a grievance go untended, and in his autobiography he relates how The Smiths had revenge on Wilson in 1986, when he asked the band to play on the bill of “Festival of the Tenth Summer” at the G-Mex in Manchester. This was a music festival to celebrate Manchester ten years after The Sex Pistols had played the city’s Lesser Free Trade Hall in June 1976. Having originally said “no” to playing the festival as the ticket prices were too high, Morrissey was swayed by a letter from Wilson urging The Smiths to take part, which they did.

In fact, the G-Mex event is a great day, and theatrician Wilson is at his best master of ceremonies scarf-flowing staginess. He calls everyone ‘dahling’, but it’s all a part of the public relations aspect of his showboat routine and not at all disingenuous. Before the Smiths go onstage, film-maker Derek Jarman is brought into the dressing room and is introduced. Johnny says ‘Hello,’ and then turns sideways to vomit. It is certainly a moment, but unfortunately it wasn’t caught on film.

Onstage, the Smiths are received as a life-giving source, and this begins to enrage Wilson so much that he flutters and fumes backstage, demanding to technicians that the Smiths’ power to be cut off. No backline crew will comply with Wilson, who is effectively gagged at his own festival. At the base of it all, general opinion assessed Wilson’s rage to be the blustering fury in realizing that the Smiths had meant more to the crowd than his nurtured proteges New Order. Suddenly Wilson’s divine right to be Mr. Manchester is scuppered, and he spends the remainder of his life with a Morrissey-Smiths wasting disease of the lower limbs, whilst oddly admitting that his big mistake in life was that he didn’t sign the Smiths to Factory.

Yes, well, there we go.

Back in the knife drawer, Miss Sharp.

Of course, history is always written by those who outlive their rivals, and Wilson sadly died in 2007, so we won’t hear his account of this supposed “blustering fury,” but so it goes.

Long before this, Wilson promoted as many bands as he was able through his show So It Goes and innumerable insert reports on Manchester’s evening news program. This then is Mr. Wilson dropping in on The Smiths as they rehearsed for a tour in 1985, during the week their second album Meat Is Murder went straight to number one in the UK album charts, and the band was voted “Group of the Year” in an NME poll. Wilson interviews drum & bass players Mike Joyce and Andy Rourke, before strumming a few questions with Johnny Marr, and then there’s a minor clash of egos with Morrissey, when Wilson asks him why he ever wanted to become a pop star in the first place?

Perhaps a similar question could have been asked of Mr. Wilson?
 

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Leave a comment
Morrissey vs. Phil Lynott is not as exciting as it sounds
03.24.2014
09:32 am

Topics:
Music
Pop Culture
Television

Tags:
Morrissey
Phil Lynott

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The individual components to this TV show promised more than was delivered. The fact Phil Lynott and Morrissey were part of the two teams taking part in this Pop Quiz, would whet any appetite, but sadly the result is as bland and anodyne as the show’s host, Mike Read.

You may have heard of Read before, he was the BBC Radio One DJ behind the banning of Frankie Goes To Hollywood’s single “Relax.”

While treating his listeners to a performance of Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s thumping dance single “Relax,” Read idly scanned the record sleeve and began to read the lyrics to the song, which had been steadily climbing the charts.

Then, mid-broadcast, he lifted the needle, denounced the content as “obscene” and refused to play it again. The rest of the BBC followed suit, banning the song, with its veiled reference to gay sex, from all TV and radio airplay, with the curious exception of the top 40 show.

Within a fortnight the song had rocketed to number one, where it nested for four weeks. (As if to rub the Beeb’s nose in it, a few months later “Relax” returned to the charts, reaching number two.)

“Relax” eventually reached Number One on 24th January, 1984, and was the beginning of an incredibly successful year for Frankie Goes To Hollywood. The ban made the BBC and especially Read look prissy, out-of-touch and utterly ridiculous. With this in mind, one has to question why the Beeb thought Mike Read a suitable host for their Saturday tea-time entertainment show Pop Quiz? As anything the poor man touched was automatically rendered vapid, bland and unrelentingly dull.

Poor Phil Lynott, who looks here like a doorman for some low-rent strip club, tries his best to jolly things along, but is given little to no help by his fellow team members, some hairdressing experiment from Kajagoogoo, and a dull Derek Forbes from Simple Minds.

Morrissey, meanwhile, is teamed-up with aging glam rocker, Alvin Stardust (yes, the fellow who crooned “My Coo Ca Choo”) and Kim Wilde of “Kids in America” (Whoa!) fame. At first Morrissey looks almost keen (answering his early questions correctly) before the full horror of the show dawns on him. As he later told The Face magazine:

Pop Quiz was unbearable. I realized it was a terrible mistake the moment the cameras began to roll. … I just squirmed through the programme. I went back to my dressing room afterwards and virtually felt like breaking down, it had been so pointless. I felt I’d been gagged.”

I’m not sure Morrissey was gagged, but it is fair to say both he and Lynott were certainly under some sort of neutralizing presence that seems to emanate from Mr. Read. The only colorful thing about him is his tasteless shirt that looks like something Walt Disney puked up.

Now you know what made for popular television in Britain back in 1984.
 

 
Part deux of le quiz de pop, apres le saut…

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Leave a comment
Comedian Peter Serafinowicz sings the first page from Morrissey’s new book
10.17.2013
08:29 am

Topics:
Amusing
Books

Tags:
Morrissey
Peter Serafinowicz


 
For those of you haven’t had a chance to read or get your paws on Penguin Classics’ Morrissey’s Autobiography yet, here’s Peter Serafinowicz singing the first page for you.

Now if we can only get Peter to sing the whole damned book. You know, kinda like a rock opera meets “books on tape” type of thing.

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
A book by its covers: Alternative designs for Morrissey’s ‘Autobiography’
10.16.2013
02:56 pm

Topics:
Books

Tags:
Morrissey
Penguin Books

00000mozz111.jpg
 
Big Mouth’s autobiography is published tomorrow by (can you believe it?) Penguin Classics. This even before a word of it has been read or considered worthy of inclusion amongst such writers as Aristotle, Virgil, Plutarch, Jane Austen, Christopher Marlowe, Charles Dickens, etc, etc. Admittedly Penguin Classics also include Philip K. Dick, Kurt Vonnegut, Carson McCullers and Ross McDonald—but at least these authors had already been published, and earned their place to be included in the list by being “read by generation after generation.” I wonder if Morrissey’s Autobiography will be read by anyone ten years from now, let alone a hundred?

The Guardian newspaper recently asked readers to send in their alternative designs for the cover to Morrissey’s Autobiography, here are a selection of their favorites. View more here.
 
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Via The Guardian.

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Leave a comment
While you wait for Morrissey’s ‘Autobiography,’ here’s The Smiths live, 1984
09.20.2013
10:03 am

Topics:
Books
Music

Tags:
Morrissey
The Smiths

afghjbubhcsblbrhjcbsmitsmozz.jpg
 
The recent Internet rumor that Morrissey: Autobiography was no longer to be published by Penguin Books (allegedly due to a “content disagreement”) has been finally quashed by the publishers, who claim the eagerly anticipated memoir will be published in the coming weeks. This has also been confirmed by the Morrissey fan site, True To You, which posted the following:

“The publication of Morrissey’s Autobiography remains with Penguin Books. This is a deal for the UK and Europe, but Morrissey has no contract with a publisher for the US or any other territory. As of 13 September, Morrissey and Penguin (UK) remain determined to publish within the next few weeks.”

So, it looks like American Morrissey fans may have to wait for a US publisher to pick up the rights. With the interest shown in this memoir, that shouldn’t take long.

Meanwhile, the former Smiths’ guitarist Johnny Marr, who released his debut solo album, The Messenger, in February of this year to overwhelmingly positive reviews, has been telling the press what he likes in music:

“...short, sharp, snappy songs with glamorous, sexy guitars and lyrics that sound like poetry that moves at the speed of light – that’s what rock or pop music should be about and it should come alive on the stage. Bands you can see and come away knowing they’ve put a lot into it. A lot of bands I saw when I was younger gave me that feeling of really wanting to be there. You feel like you’re having a unique experience with the band and they’re having a unique experience with you.

You’ll find a damn fine selection of short, sharp, snappy Smiths’ songs (all dressed up with poetry and guitars) on this classic edition of Rockpalast, from 1984. You’ll also note that the band repeat three of the set list as an encore—obviously they didn’t have enough songs back then—finishing on “Barbarism Begins At Home” which would feature on their 1985 album Meat is Murder.

Track listing

01. “Hand in Glove”
02. “Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now”
03. “Girl Afraid”
04. “This Charming Man”
05. “Pretty Girls Make Graves”
06. “Still ill”
07. “Barbarism Begins At Home”
08. “This Night Has Opened My Eyes”
09. “Miserable Lie”
10. “You’ve Got Everything Now”
11. “Handsome Devil”
12. “What Difference Does It Make”
13. “These Things Take Time”

Encore

14. “This Charming Man”
15. “Hand In Glove”
16. “Barbarism Begins At Home”

Johnny Marr tours the UK in October and the US October/November, details here.
 

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Leave a comment
What’s so HOT in Morrissey’s ‘Autobiography’ that caused Penguin to drop it?
09.13.2013
09:57 am

Topics:
Books

Tags:
Morrissey


 
It’s difficult to make sense of the news today that Penguin Books in the UK have dropped the publication of Morrissey’s Autobiography, which was supposed to be available for sale next Monday, but, hey, it’s easy to speculate…

Penguin claim that no review copies were printed, which seems quite odd to me as a former publisher, because lead times for magazines tend to be 90 days and the pre-retail marketing period leading up to a big book’s street date can take from six to nine months.

It’s being reported that “a last-minute content disagreement between Penguin Books and Morrissey has caused the venture to collapse.”

If it was “last minute,” there WOULD obviously have not only been review copies printed up, they’d have had tens of thousands of finished copies on hand for Monday, too.

Maybe it wasn’t so last minute, after all, but what’s the reason for it? When there’s a lot of money at stake, as there would be with something like this, usually the publisher will bend over backwards to accommodate a famous author.

Morrissey’s autobiography? That would sell like hotcakes the world over.

There has to be something hot in it. Morrissey has a long history of making controversial statements. I wonder what’s in it that caused Penguin to drop it? None of the reports mention WHY it was dropped. That’s got to be the interesting part…

Anyone got a digital copy?

UPDATE: The whole thing is an Internet hoax. It seems to have started on a Morrissey fan site and then got picked up at MOJO and Pitchfork. It seemed fishy with no Amazon listing. You can read more about this at The Atlantic Wire.

In happier news for Mozz fans, his new concert DVD, Morrissey 25: Live From Hollywood High shot at back in March, will be released on October 22. Here’s the trailer:
 

 
Via MOJO

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
This Charming Charlie: The Smiths meet the Peanuts gang
08.14.2013
11:50 am

Topics:
Amusing
Music

Tags:
Morrissey
The Smiths
Peanuts
Charlie Brown


 
Finally, a website after my own, cold, cold heart… This Charming Charlie.

The Tumblr is by San Francisco-based graphic designer Lauren LoPrete.
 

 

 

 

 

 
Via Nerdcore

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
The Smiths: The last documentary made before they split-up in 1987
07.20.2013
04:46 pm

Topics:
Music

Tags:
Morrissey
The Smiths
Johnny Marr


 
Originally made for The South Bank Show, this documentary on The Smiths was filmed just days before the band went their separate ways in 1987. It’s a fitting testament to one of the most talented and influential bands of the 1980s. The film contains interviews with Morrissey, Marr, and the other two, as well as assorted fans, John Peel, and rock journalist, Nick Kent, who declared The Smiths were “the first English pop group,” who would be as popular as The Beatles in ten-year’s time. He was right to a point. And even 26-years later, middle-aged fans sigh at the thought of The Smiths.

Me? I’m listening to Diana Ross.
 

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Leave a comment
Morrissey hates The Sex Pistols
07.02.2013
08:39 am

Topics:
History
Punk

Tags:
Morrissey
Sex Pistols


 
It has been said that everyone who bought a copy of The Velvet Underground & Nico went on to start a band. The same has been said about the attendees of the legendary Sex Pistols gig at the Manchester Lesser Free Trade Hall on June 4, 1976, which included future members of Joy Division/New Order, The Fall, A Certain Ratio, Simply Red, Buzzcocks/Magazine, Tony Wilson and producer Martin Hannett.

One punter who was not impressed, a then 17-year-old Steve Morrissey, who let his feelings be known in a letter to the editor of the NME. What an insufferable, supercilious brat he must’ve been! Turning his nose up at The Sex Pistols???

There’s an entire book about this concert and the seismic cultural repercussions it caused in it its wake, I Swear I Was There: The Gig That Changed The World by David Nolan and a TV doc with eyewitness accounts of this infamous gig:
 

 
Previously on Dangerous Minds:
‘Ramones are Rubbish’: Morrissey’s thoughts on the Ramones, 1976

Morrissey’s snide record reviews: Moz dumps on Cyndi Lauper, The Psychedelic Furs and XTC, 1984

Via Boing Boing /Letters of Note

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
Morrissey’s snide record reviews: Moz dumps on Cyndi Lauper, The Psychedelic Furs and XTC, 1984
06.28.2013
03:03 pm

Topics:
Music

Tags:
Morrissey
Smash Hits

stihhsamsyessirrom.jpg
 
In 1984, Morrissey was invited by the editor of glossy pop mag Smash Hits to review the week’s singles. As was no doubt expected, Morrissey flashed his natural flair for writing pithy, caustic and highly amusing reviews: he dismissed Cyndi Lauper’s single as “grossly unmusical”; Status Quo as “unreviewable impertinence”; Tracey Ullman “hopeless”; and of Lionel Richie he wrote, “that people care for such things suggests an unholy amount of human misery.”

It’s a pity Morrissey didn’t continue with his career as a pithy pop reviewer.
 
selgnisy
 
More reviews from Morrissey after the jump…
 
Via Us vs th3m
 

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Leave a comment
Just Two Tickets: David Bowie with very special guest Morrissey
06.15.2013
05:19 pm

Topics:
Amusing
Music
Pop Culture

Tags:
David Bowie
Morrissey
Aberdeen

mozznbowzommwwob.jpg
 
There will be those who will see these two tickets as evidence of what could have been one of the greatest tours ever.

David Bowie
(with very special guest Morrissey)
Aberdeen Exhibition & Conference Centre
29 Nov 1995
7.30pm
Standing
£22.50

And, of course, there will be those who won’t.

Morrissey was originally the “special” support on the European leg of Bowie’s Outside tour in 1995, but after Mozz failed to turn-up for this gig in Aberdeen, he was dropped and replaced by The Gyres, Echobelly and Placebo.

Stories vary as to what actually happened, but it would appear there is still some kind of bad feeling between the two.

Earlier this year, Bowie refused to grant Morrissey permission to use a photograph of the pair of them together on the re-issue of his single “The Last of the Famous International Playboys.”

According NME, Morrissey then “rickrolled” Bowie by replacing the “Thin White Duke” with 1980s’ pop star, Rick Astley.
 
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Updated June 16th—with thanks to David B Parkes
Via Nothing’s Changed and Bowie Songs Blog
 

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Leave a comment
Charles Dickens does Morrissey

Charles Dickens
Uncanny, eh?

Children’s television can be absolutely unbearable if you’re not actually a child. Luckily, the smart shows know this and throw you a bone every once in a while.

The BBC’s Horrible Histories recently decided to teach the kiddies about the life of Charles Dickens with a decidedly Smiths-vibe, and it’s an eerily accurate impression. Despite his reputation for being a bit humorless, I hope Moz would get a kick out of this one—I mean, it’s totally funny, and it’s for the kids!
 

 
Via Slate

Posted by Amber Frost | Leave a comment
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